Forbidden Love (CAMREN)

thirty-one

CAMILAS POV

---2 weeks later---

Ugh the whole Dinah and Lauren kiss has been really bugging me, I mean Dinah is supposed to be my best friend and Lauren, well I'm supposed to be marrying her in a few days, is this even right for me to be having second thoughts.

One minute I'm fine because Lauren said it was a drunken move by Dinah but at the same time I want to get her back, show her how it feels to have your heart smashed into a million pieces right infront of you.

I'd started staying at work for more hours, just to avoid Lauren, the "love of my life", I knew it was pissing her off but honestly, I really needed space away from her as much as I could get. I'd even started falling asleep on the sofa, away from her which caused more arguments but I don't care. I'm angry and my heart is broken.

*BUZZ*

I turn to look at my phone to notice it was Dinah calling, again, I had ignored all of her calls before, maybe I should answer, I sat anxiously contemplating whether to answer or not, but I did...

"What do you want?" I mumbled down the phone.

"Well..um hi, I've..missed you, I just wanted you to know th.." She stutters.

"To know what China..I mean Dinah, that you went to kiss my fiancé after you knew how much she means to me!!!!!!" I say whilst fighting back the words, I could feel a lump grow bigger and bigger in my throat.

--goes silent for a few seconds--

"Well then! Speak up! Do you have feelings for her, was it really a mistake, did you do it because you saw me coming or did you do it because you're jealous of what we have!!!! Tell me the truth Dinah, you have 2 minutes to explain yourself" I raced through my sentence so I could hear her answer.

"No, Mila...I don't like her, it was definitely a mistake, I didn't see you coming, I was drunk, I really have no idea what had gotten into me, it's not her fault please believe me. I hope this hasn't ruined our friendship, I love you!!! It was all a mistake, please..ple..forgive me, I'm begging" She says whilst her voice breaks, she begins to sob.

I could hear how sorry she was, I knew this was hurting her just as much as it was hurting me not having here around just for a phone call, but she's hurt me, deeply hurt me. I really don't know what to do.

"I'm having second thoughts...about marrying Lauren" I shakily reply.

"What? Why? Is it because of me? Oh no!! It's all my fault, I've ruined everything, fuck!!" She breaks down again.

"No..noo..not because of you..not in the slightest, I just think we need more time, I love her and I don't want things to end but, we're both young, going through new experiences. I'm under a lot of pressure at work and I don't see her much due to our work schedules.." I say bravely.

"Well..Um.... I guess she'll understand! I'm sorry again, I really am..but Camila?" she replies anxiously.

"Yeah?" I reply quizzed.

"You're going to have to make a decision quick, your wedding is in four days.." she says.

"Oh shit, yeah, I know.." I say stunned.

"Can we meet for a coffee, tomorrow, maybe? Only if you want?" she questions.

"Yeah sure, I'll meet you on my lunch break, meet you at Starbucks at 2pm?" I say whilst thinking other things..

"Sure, i'll let you go then, I love you Camila?" she says honestly..

"Yeah, okay bye, see you tomorrow"

--phone line goes dead--

Ugh, how am I supposed to work now, 5 texts off Lauren "I miss you.. blah blah blah" same old shit.

I take my notepad out of my bag, this notepad had all my poems, songs, emotions and my life in it, I couldn't think of a better time to do some song writing and maybe some hate talk, why the hell not hey.

I begin writing aimlessly, I haven't been able to write this freely in a long time. I guess Dinah kissing my fiancé did my song writing some good, ha. Shut up Camila.

"Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?"

"Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it."

When we fled to New York, I spent every last penny on her. Supporting her, my hearts broken and it's all been thrown back in my face.

"Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?"

"Have you ever looked fear in the face"

"And said I just don't care?"

When I sang that song for her, infront a hall full of people, not caring what my Mom thought or her dad. What was that for? nothing as it seems now, complete and utter pointless.

I started to cry, I pack my notepad away and decided it was enough for one night and I needed to head back home, to see Lauren, I cant even think of her as my fiancé anymore it hurts just thinking about it..

I drive home, sad songs playing in the background, the rain crashing against my car window whilst the tears streamed down my face.

I pull up outside our home, that we earned TOGETHER, ugh.

I roll out the car, walk slowly up to the door, I hesitate putting the key in the door, I contemplate whether I should get back in my car and just drive to a mystery destination, I pluck up the courage to go in. She was stood infront of a candle lit table, it was beautiful, she was beautiful, the home we had created.. was beautiful. Just my love for her right now, isn't beautiful and I really need to tell her how I feel, I know it will kill her but I'm not happy. IM HURT AND BROKEN!!

"Hey babe" she beams at me.

"Um.. Hi, we really need to talk.." I said sternly.

Ugh what do I do.. all these emotions in my head at one time, do I call it off or do I just get over everything and go back to how it used to be.

Ugh, I gulp.. and take my next breath getting ready to speak..

31!

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