hotel.

Chapter 19

I MET JEREMY SHADA a few days ago AT FAN EXPO CANADA AND GOT TWO AUTOGRAPHS AND TWO PICTURES OMG IVE BEEN A FAN ISNCE I WAS LIKE 11 I ALMOST CRIED and for those of you who don't know who jeremy shada is he's finn on adventure time (which has been one of my favourite shows since i was like 11) and he's in a band and anyway it was great i love him so much rip shoutout to SharonZav for going with me thanks bud

Shock, anger. Why hadn't he told me?

"You're what?" I sputtered.

"I have cancer, Kellin." he said.

"No, no. You can't have- that's not-" I trailed off. "How long have you known?"

"A few days before I came to stay here." he said.

The rest of our conversation was a blur. Only certain parts stood out to me.

I left. I left the restaurant. I was driving, who knows where.

"I only have a few months left, Kellin."

"Fuck!" I screamed, pushing the palm of my hand onto the horn of my car. 

I'm glad there weren't many people on the road by now, or I'd probably have caused an accident.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Kellin."

Kellin, Kellin, Kellin. It seemed like my name always had to be the bearer of bad news.

I pulled over onto the side of the road, and grabbed a box of cigarets and a lighter from the glove department of my car before sitting on the hood. I hardly ever smoked. I had a pack in the apartment  and one in my car, just in case I felt like orne, but I they only got used about once a year. I had started smoking in high school as a rebellious act to piss of my dad, and I felt like now was a good time to take one out again. I kicked off my shoes and leaned back, trying no to think of anything as I watched the sun set.

--

I shifted, gasping as I woke myself up. I looked around and noticed the butt of my cigaret still burning away on the ground. The sky was dark now, and I decided it would be best to go home. I stared blankly, at the road as I drove, trying not to think of anything. I pulled my car into my parking spot, before jumping out and heading up to the apartment.

My mind stayed blank as I walked in, finding no one there except Thor and Pippa, which was weird considering it was early in the morning. I had fallen asleep for quite a bit on the hood of my car.I walked into the living room, and sighed sitting down on the couch. I ran my hand over my face, and I realized that I had been crying.

Why hadn't he told me earlier?  He couldn't have cancer, that just wasn't possible. Why did it have to be him?

"Fuck!" I screamed, getting all worked up again. I shoved the coffee table, causing some of the things on top to fall off. Some of them broke, and I was sure Id regret it later, but right now I didn't care.

I curled up on the couch as I heard the door open.

"Kellin!' I heard Vic say. "Yeah he's in here" He said to someone who I assumed was my dad. I wasn't in the mood to talk to either of them. "I'll make sure he's okay." I heard Vic say before the door shut behind him.

"Hey." he said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off, burying my head in the pillow.

"Fine." he huffed. Suddenly I felt Vic's arms wrap around me, and I was lifted off the couch.

Instead of protesting, I let him awkwardly drag me upstairs to the bed. He set me down, and pulled the blanket over me before going to get his inhaler.

He sat on the bed beside me, and I felt the bed dip as his weight shifted.

"You had us worried. We were out looking for you" he said. Us? Who? Vic and my secretive asshole of a father? I doubt my dad was worried.

"Take the day off tomorrow." He said, sounding tired. He sounded drained, and the fact that he had been out looking for me in the early hours of morning probably didn't help the fact that he hardly got any sleep anyway. "I'll tell Cory to figure something out while you're away.

And with that I fell asleep.

--------

I refused to get out of bed. I left to use the washroom, and that was about it. Vic would leave in the morning in a suit, and come back later in the same attire. It was weird to see him like that, it didn't suit him. He'd bring me food when he was home, and tried to talk to me, but I refused to listen.

Even though I was mad at my dad for keeping his cancer a secret, I still didn't want to loose him. Our relationship was iffy on a good day, but he still tried his best to raise me right, given our circumstances. That being said, I was still insanely hot headed, angry and pissed off at him.

Suddenly I heard the door close downstairs and I knew Vic was home. I turned over, pulling the blankets over my head. I heard Vic come upstairs, and the shuffling sounds he was making made me think that he was changing out of his suit.

A few moments later I felt the blankets being ripped from me.

"Vic, stop." I croaked, my voice sounding strange after not talking for a long time.

"No." he said, pulling them all the way off the bed. "Get up."

"No." I refused.

"Kellin, get up." Vic said, starting to get mad.

"Fuck off and leave me alone please." I said, turning away from him.

"You've been in bed for two weeks, Kellin!" he yelled. "You need to get up."

Now I was starting to get mad.

I stood up and stepped of the bed.

"How come your so mad all of sudden?" I questioned.

"I've been mad for this whole time." 

"You still don't have to tell me what to do! You don't run my life, Vic" I countered.

"Oh really? Then tell me why I've been doing your job for the last two weeks Kellin!" He shouted.

"I was okay with you taking a few days off to get your self back together and get your head around things," he said, his voice lowering momentarily. "But this? This is ridiculous! Your wasting the time you have left with him!"

"Well I'm sorry that I'm grieving!" I screamed. "I didn't have a mom growing up, my dad's the only family that I have! I deserve to have time to myself! Okay, Vic? I'm upset for fucks sake."

"I understand how you're feeling Kellin, but-"

"No!" I interrupted. "You don't know how I'm feeling! You still have both parents in that cute little family of yours. You don't know loss like this."

His eyes darkened.

"You think I don't know loss like this?" he asked, his eyes staring into mine, almost as if he was asking, wanna fucking bet?

In that moment, I had never seen Vic so angry.

"This is what loss looks like, Kellin." he snarled. It was almost as if he was using my own name as a weapon against me.

He turned around, and pulled off his shirt.

well that was intense. I had my first day of gr 10 today and it was fine i have close friends in every class but in some classes its akward bc of reasons lol ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED I HOPE TO HAVE A NEW CHAPTER UP SOON TO FOLLOW UP THIS CLIFF HANGER TYPE THING also gonna try and get on top of the comments again soon bc i have a phone and my computer now

please comment, vote and maybe even follow me too ? it means a lot to me

-em