Day 31
Dear diary,
This is not an ordinary day for me..It's been a month since that rejection thing happened. Ugh that day when my whole world crashed. I still have many questions in my head.. Why can't he accept my love for him? Is it because I'm a guy who used to be his bestfriend? Is it because he loved someone else? Or is it because he's ashamed of me? I need answers!
And also this week's been rough for me.. My depression became worst and I can't sleep because Louis is still running on my mind 24/7. He's stuck on my mind..
Mom's been checking me out with this doctor and she's giving me meds and weekend consultation. She always gives me this paper which is actually called as a 'Recovery Diary' where I can express my feelings and everything. It's like a homework or something. This medication thing helps me to recover from this depression I'm experiencing right now.. And I can't see any further change because my depression got worst this week.
Why my depression got worst?
I was scrolling through my timeline when I saw Louis' tweet with this girl and they're all fucked up in this party with our common friends. The girl is like fucking sitting on Louis' lap and he seems to enjoy it! Like I could do better than that slut! My poor baby is pretty drunk with that shitty bitch. Why won't his mom prohibit him from going out with his friends? I mean they're bad influences! Why won't he hang out with me instead and he'll fucking enjoy! Oh.. Right.. He knew that I left my hometown and flew to LA. Silly me!
Why I can't tell him about my depression?
I really can't tell him about this shit happening to me because 1. I don't want him to think that I'm obssessed with him (which is clearly the truth) 2. He'll think that I'm nuts 3. And maybe he'll get rid of me.
So I convinced my mom and my sister to tell Louis that I'm in LA with my cousins for a vacation everytime he checks me in our house. I don't even know why I want to hide at him even though I really wanted to see his face.
All the love, H. x
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Hey! :) yey welcome to my new story! Hope you like it all! My chapters are short bc ugh so many school works! Sorry larries :(( but hey i'll post an update every friday or weekends! :) yey thanks for reading guys! :* btw look at that shadow awwwe my larrents <3
