Merlin- Bleeding Hearts

Open eyes, but can you see?

Hello everyone, I apologize for being a piece of shit but I've been incredibly stressed out over the last few weeks and haven't been able to read anything off of wattpad, let alone write. Sorry about the unscheduled updates and drops, I'll try to update more frequently but no promises as I'm a piece of garbage XD enjoy!

Merlin's head felt as if it were wrapped in cotton, his ears made everything sound as if it were underwater, muddled and slow. The boy thought he could hear people moving around him but everything seemed to be in slow motion, everything phasing and meshing together slowly, bodies dragging across his line of vision. Merlin half consciously thought of his friend, Arthur and the Knights, where were they? Probably off doing something more so important than worrying about him, he supposed. After some time, maybe a few minutes, maybe a small eternity Merlin did not know, gaius appeared and slowly asked, though his voice seemed to echo off the inside of Merlin's skull middlingly and muddily, Merlin nodded at the question though he didn't fully process it. Gaius seemed to realize this as he gave Merlin another drink of something, the bitterly sweet taste told the muddled warlock that it was a sleeping draught and that Merlin would be returning to the blessed darkness of unconsciousness soon enough.
After some time, that's just what he did.
In unconsciousness, Merlin was floating, oblivious to everything about him as if it were nothing. He did not feel, he did not move.
He did not smile and he did not think, he just floated about in a dark abyss, oblivious to the things around him.
He did not feel it when his heart stuttered and his breathing stopped, he did not hear when the door was kicked in and the Knights exclaimed that they're returned with the flower. He did not feel when they all exploded and screamed, the noises ripped from their throats without their permission. He did not feel when a single pair of hands moved to his chest and he did not feel when a pair of chapped, warm lips pressed to his, desperate for him to breath. He didn't feel when his breathing stuttered again and he began to breath once more, and he did not hear the collective sigh of repressed fear and relief.
He did not feel when several pairs of gentle hands moved him, sitting him up to lean against someone. He did not feel when the crushed flower, which had been mixed with a potion, was poured down his throat.

But after that, when he opened his eyes, his mind still muddled and meshed, his heart still pounding in his chest and his throat sore, his eyes muddled and slow, he felt the eyes of his friends watching him. He smiled when he saw their faces, a weak smile yes but a smile none the less that said, in a quiet tone, "thank you" and after that, the others smiled too.

When Merlin had been laid to sleep again, after Gaius had checked him over and made sure that he wasn't in anymore danger, the Knights as well as the king allowed themselves a breath of relief. They'd almost been to late, they'd almost lost Merlin, their friend. They all stayed in Gaius's chambers after that, wanting to be there, to be able to reassure themselves that yes, Merlin was alive and well, he wasn't going to vanish before their eyes like he managed to in the past. They men thought back to how, despite his attitudes and behavior, Merlin could vanish without a trace, as if the men were the blink and he'd vanish
The men thought back to an incident some time ago, Merlin had seemed off and put of attitude, no smiles for days, no jokes and no happiness to be seen in his normally brilliant and bright eyes. Every time one of the men attempted to corner the Raven and talk to him about the trouble that seemed to storm his mind, the Raven managed to disappear with no trace, a blink and he was already down the hall, walking away as quickly as possible. He'd managed to slip past Elyan, Percival and Leon multiple times, even Gwaine and Arthur couldn't get a word on the subject, whenever Arthur tried to bring up the subject, Merlin would just leave the room with some excuse, whether it being clothing needing to be dropped off to be cleaned or food needing to be grabbed, Merlin would always leave. Some time afterwards, Merlin seemed to return to himself, his smile returning and his happiness shining in his eyes but the men never did find out what had been bothering the Raven and though they wouldn't admit it, it hurt that the boy wouldn't share his troubles.

They'd all silently agreed that day that they would keep a better eye on the Raven, always watching for when his smile faltered and his jokes fell flat. Now, given the recent situations, that pact was needed more than ever, ever vigilant when it came to the Raven boy that had wormed his way into their hearts.

Thinking about it, they all hadn't realized their affection and protecting nature towards Merlin until he'd been injured near them, one by one they'd all seen Merlin fall and it snapped something inside them all, all wanting to protect the young boy.
They could all remember the days when they first realized it, their protecting nature towards Merlin.

Arthur- he'd realized it when Merlin had drank from the poisoned goblet in front of everyone, the freezing of his blood when he saw Merlin struggle to breath and when he hit the floor.
Gwaine- he realized it during the Fisher King quest, Merlin had been his only friend, the only person to openly care about the rogue. When the stone door had fallen and Merlin  had been trapped, Gwaines heart was beating so loud he could hear it in his ears. When the door had opened and he'd seen with his own eyes that Merlin had been alright, he couldn't help himself, he'd hugged Merlin and in that time, he realized how much he cared.
Leon- Leon, at first, had been very wary of Arthur's new manservant but that had changed when the boy willingly drank poison for his Prince. Leon himself, he realized how much he cared for Merlin during the Dorocha. When they'd realized what the Raven had done, his blood froze. He'd never seen Merlin as quiet and as pale as he was in that time. When Lancelot had returned and told them that Merlin was alive,  he could breath again. That's when he realized.
Percival- Percival had realized it before he'd even met the boy. From what Lancelot had told him, he had assumed it was nothing more than over exaggeration but when he'd met Merlin, he was everything Lancelot had said and more. Though the two weren't close at first, he was proud to call himself Merlin's friend. It didn't take long for the gentle giant to realize that he cared for Merlin and that he was physically pained whenever Merlin fell, whether it be to illness or injury. During the Dorocha, Merlin had been so cold and so pale, it physically hurt.
Elyan- When Elyan first heard of Merlin, he assumed it was nothing more than over exaggeration from a simple crush on Gwen's side, gushing and giggling lies, but when he first met the Raven, he could vouch that Gwen had never spoken truer words.
Merlin being Merlin, he was kind and courageous, caring and funny, a perfect friend but it became quickly apparent at the lack of self preservation the boy help, which flared the protectiveness Elyan held towards the Raven boy.
All of the men care deeply for Merlin, as older brothers care for their younger siblings and seeing the boy like this, pale and pained, a physical pain struck through them all.
They all agreed, as silently as ever, that Merlin would not fall if they had any say on it. Merlin would not fall this day or any other, as long as the men had breath in their lungs and a blade in their hands.
Merlin would live.