next door » joshler [book #1]

twenty six » camisado

well, tyler's still sobbing, and josh hasn't told the landlord yet.

he wishes they could turn back time, to the good old days.

when tyler didn't cheat on him with random fucking ex girlfriends, like... seriously? what the fuck???

but, hey, josh has an idea. they can't have the old days back. so the obvious choice is... make the new days better.

god, that sounds cheesy as fuck.

but it gets him to his feet, gets him to lumber into the bedroom.

tyler's lying on the bed, silent. finally, he's stopped crying.

"tyler?" josh asks. "can we talk?"

he doesn't answer.

did he fall asleep?

josh walks closer and a strong smell clogs his nose. slowly, he pushes tyler over.

oh my fucking god.

the stench of blood is nearly overwhelming. the white sheets are coated in it.

and

so

are

tyler's

wrists.

he screams. drops down to his knees. a rush of fear nearly knocks him over. a sense of déjà vu so strong he nearly cried.

the last time he saw this...

two years ago. back in new york. rooming with his friend from high school. moved three states over for a shitty college, partying every weekend.

his name was oliver. he liked being called oli. he was in a band, too.

and he slit his wrists, too.

there was a bloodstained letter beside him, and josh could still remember the words. about how he couldn't handle the pressure. how he couldn't handle anything.

someone's turning the handle to the faucet in his eyes, and he pours it out where everyone can see.

"tyler," he gasps out, grabbing the sheets. tyler's head lolls slightly. "please. no, no, tyler, please."

his chest rises slightly.

josh bursts into tears. he's alive.

then common sense kicks in- autopilot- and his phone is in his hand, clumsily dialing 911. "please," he sobs into the phone, "my f-friend just tried to kill himself. his wrists are bleeding."

friend.

-

tyler wakes up.

why does he do that? that's not supposed to happen. he's supposed to remain drifting. unless heaven is real, and he's landed in it.

no, wait, suicide lands you in hell, right?

something touches his hand. a familiar voice whispers, "tyler?"

josh. fuck.

"i fucking hate you," tyler croaks out, trying to smile. "that's a joke, by the way."

he can't open his eyes, but he hears josh's breath hitch. "tyler..."

"i'm sorry for cheating on you," tyler offers. the words hang there.

"i forgive you," josh whispers. "for real."

"that's, uh, that's pretty cool."

"pretty cool."

"preeeettttyy cool."

"pretty cool."

tyler's working on slurring the words even further when the door opens, and a doctor walks in.

"mr. joseph?" he asks. "how are you feeling? my name is doctor healy. you can call me matty."

tyler smiles at him. "i'm very well, thank you. when can i leave?"

matty pauses. "we would like to have you stay here and do a psych evaluation. you tried to commit suicide, mr. joseph."

"really," tyler answers. "just tyler, please."

josh stifles a shocked giggle.

"tyler. okay. well, tyler, you're staying here for a bit. okay?"

tyler smiles at the attractive, young doctor. "yes, doctor healy."

matty nods. "thank you for cooperating."

-

in the end, they decide he'll be better off with anti-depressants and anxiety medicine. josh drives him home.

"are you still moving out?" tyler prompts.

"no... not unless you want me to."

tyler pauses. "tonight, i need you to stay."

"and tomorrow?"

"we'll see."

he just wants to appear cool and not say yes outright. goddammit, tyler, you drama queen.

//why is alissa updating so much? who knows!! look how many references i put it!! also do u get the title like panics camisado is about a hospital...ily guys...it's 1 in the morning here...//