next door » joshler [book #1]

forty two » lol i have no idea what im doing

"get off of me," josh whispers, his voice breaking.

(tyler doesnt know what hes doing hes gone crazy hes)

tyler smirks at him and kisses him, wet lips sliding against each other. "i get what i want," he answers, voice low.

"please," josh begs, "tyler-"

lips slam against his. gleaming eyes stare at his own. they seem almost

(blue, like mitchs)

--no, not quite. they're dark. too dark. gone is the familiar chocolate brown that tyler's eyes had, the warmness and depth- they are hollow and cold and evil.

his shirt is stripped off of him, and josh tries to move his arm, his leg, but tyler has him pinned tight. laughing. oh god, he's laughing

(like the devil oh no hes possessed my tyler hes gone crazy)

josh's head falls back against the pillow. he mumbles another pleading word, his vision blurring around the edges. tyler is pressing down on his chest

(is he trying to kill me)

and black spots dance in his vision. josh can feel the world slipping away from him. dully, he tries to grasp for it.

the weight shifts and an enormous breath explodes into josh's lungs. it's quickly snatched from him as he feels

(no no no NO NO NO)

the zipper of his jeans being pulled down. tyler, no, no, don't do this please-

his jeans being yanked down. hands ghosting over his hips, rubbing circles into the gentle skin. josh wants to scream, but as soon as his mouth opens, tyler's hand flies up and silences any possible sound. pain radiates from the spot where hand met jaw, and josh whimpers.

"fuck," tyler groans, and horror bursts in josh's head as he realizes tyler is getting off on this. "

(disgusting disgusting disgusting youre disgusting and hes disgusting both of you will rot in hell you vile creatures)

he pushes the voice out of his head. realizes his hands are free. tyler seems to realize this too, and he goes to fix it, and that's when josh knees him- hard as possible- in the crotch, and jumps out of the bed, racing out of the bedroom with his jeans falling to his knees.

barricaded in the bathroom, breathing too rapidly, josh wipes the tears from his eyes and buries his head in his hands. in the other room, tyler has begun screaming, whether it's from fury or realization at what he's done. either way, it's terrifying.

it feels as if there's a layer of dirt on him, and josh gets up, tugging his jeans and boxers off, stepping into the shower at the same moment that he turns it on. cold water blasts over him and he yelps before settling, reaching for the soap to scrub the dirt off his body

(hes not dirty though)

no, that's not right. he is dirty, just not

(hes dirty-- so dirty-- disgusting but he cant wash it off its the touch of another man on him o what will his parents say WHAT WILL THEY THINK)

josh feels hot tears against his cheeks, mixing with the shower water. it drowns out tyler's horrible noises, guttural and animalistic.

and suddenly he falls to the ground, but not quite like tyler had- he falls flat on his ass and stays there, water pounding down on him, in tune with the throbbing of his headache, and josh sits there and sobs until the water turns warm, and then back to cold. 

yet still, the dirty feeling remains.

tyler keeps screaming.

//whoa!! what the fuck am i doing??//