Hey so this took a while but I have the summer hols now which is a relief and now i can devote more time to Kayleigh and this parody:D
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"What? Where?" I looked in the mirror that hung in the hall. Oh great. This was embarrassing. I had ice cream all over my face and I'd turned the colour of a tomato. He seemed sweet but tactless and just a little bit naive. I wiped it off with a flannel from the bathroom and walked back into the kitchen. He smiled again and I blushed once more.
"All gone?" I said pointing to my mouth
"Yes, you look almost normal now" he teased glancing down at my pj's. Almost normal?! Because he looked like the kind of guy who had a masters degree in normal. I rolled my eyes and looked at him more closely. Ok, he was beyond normal looks-wise but he didn't seem to be all there.
I still couldn't help but blush a little when I thought of our first meeting. Feeding him proved to be a difficult task too as he was as stubborn and inquisitive as a three-year-old. He seemed to get a thrill from being as incorrigible as he could just to wind me up.
"I'm hungry"
"Ok. What would you like?"
"What do you have?"
"Chips, pizza, fish fingers..."
"Eww. Fish don't have fingers"
"Well these ones do."
"Wow, really?"
"No."
"Oh. You lied to me."
"Big deal."
"I'm still hungry."
"Have this then"
"I can't eat metal!"
"No you eat what's in the metal"
"It's cold. I don't want it."
"Then don't have it."
"But I'm hungry"
"I know. Sit down, shut up and I will make you something."
"But..."
"SIT"
Eventually after three tries and a well-tested smoke alarm I gave up on toast. I guess he found my amazing cooking skills amusing because he smirked every time I opened the grill to yet more charcoal. Eventually I got frustrated and threw an apple at his head. I winced as for once my throw was on target and it whizzed straight towards him looking as though it would hit him squarely in the eyes. He reached out a hand and effortlessly caught it before the apple bruised itself and his face. He inspected the shiny missile and then took a bite.
"I like apples." He said when he had finished his mouthful.
"Yeah, so do I" I breathed grinning sheepishly. "No you don't" my brain thought "put it down you ditz." I continued to ignore the voice of reason as I brought the apple to my lips. "Seriously ew. You're not actually gonna eat that are you?" the fruit moved closer and closer and the screaming in my head became louder and louder, but I was still ignoring it.
A hiss, a growl, a startled cry, I dropped my unbitten apple and he dropped his.
"Eugene Spasper Muffin Oven Duffy Kitty Panface Seal! Leave him alone!" Both cat and boy froze and stared in horror at the absurdity of the offending feline's name. He hastily dropped the grouchy cat he was holding at arms length and watched it retreat through the cat flap still growling. Boy, he was one angry kitty.
"Are you ok?" I asked binning his discarded apple and giving him a new one.
"I am fine. Thank you very much for your hospitality and concern Kayleigh Fluffkin." I looked into his eyes and wiped away splodge of dirt I had just spotted on his face. The image of the gashes on his back flicked back into my mind and I found myself asking in a half whisper:
