Lost In Paradise(EDITING)

12. Ain't Ready....

Stacy

I stormed into my bedroom to see Paradise on the bed crying. I had mixed emotions because I hated to see my girl cry but, she was wrong for standing Khalil up.

"Paradise what the fuck?! How come you didn't come to the restaurant?"

"Stacy I- I'm not ready for all that. I can't get close to a guy. I really like Khalil but I'm just not ready." She said between sobs.

"Then when will you be ready? Why would you make him go this far if you didn't want it?"

"I don't know. I'm just a fucked up person. He's not going to talk to me anymore." Paradise started crying even harder as I sat down on the bed next to her trying to find the right words to say.

"Paradise how do you expect to heal if you don't open up? I know its difficult to talk about but, if you can write about it in a song, then you can talk better yet sing about it. You have a gift, and you can use it to heal emotionally and you might even be able to help someone else heal too. You are not the only person you has been hurt but, you can't let what happened to you affect what's happening now." By now, she was sitting up looking up at me drying her tears.

"I hear what you're saying. But, I'm not ready right now. But I'm going to try though. I don't want this to take over my life." I smiled because it was a start. At least she realize that this is not the way to live life.

"You know I love you and I'll do anything to help you. But, you need to call Khalil and apologize." She lowered her head because she knew I was right.

"I'll go see him tomorrow, I want to tell him in person. I just want to be laid up with my babes right now" she said while smirking and I could've sworn this bitch winked at me.

"Nigga you gay, but we can watch movies until we go to sleep. Yo curious ass better not touch me though." I said being half serious.

"Girl hush you know I'm just playing. But I don't want to watch a movie. I just want to have girl talk. I really would like you to give me some more advice."

And that's what we did. We even called Julio on Face time and after cussing Paradise out, he gave her some good advise as well. I just hope she listens to what we are telling her.

Paradise

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat as I made my way towards his front door. I got the address from Jheri and I was nervous as ever but, this has to be done.

I made my way up to the porch and rung the doorbell. After a few minutes of waiting, the door open and I saw someone I never thought would be here.

"Shawna?" I was completely taken aback about her being in Khalil's house and wearing one of his shirts. My feelings was hurt.

"What the fuck are you doing here?! How you know Khalil? Girl I've been meaning to beat yo-"

"Aye Shawna chill out with all that. Why you still here anyways?" Khalil came behind her and pushed her out the way. She rolled her eyes at me before stomping away. Guess she was still hold a grudge from when I beat her up in the 5th grade. Oh well.

"Um if this is a bad time, I could come back. I'll ju-"

"Why didn't you show up? You don't like me?" He caught me off guard with those questions and I was having a hard time giving him an answer.

"Khalil I'm so sorry. I'm damaged goods. I have so many unresolved emotions running through my mind and I don't know how to deal with it. If you would rather talk to Shawna then I understand. She's prettier than me anyways." I tried my best to hold back the tears but failed miserably. I hate that I have these insecurities about myself.