Lost In Paradise(EDITING)

10. Something is Missing

Paradise

I sat at my desk, writing yet another song. I had the melody in my head and everything.

Everything has been going good. I gained three good friends, Khalil, Julio, and Jheri. My grades in school are good with a 3.2 GPA, and I'm starting to become content with my life.

I wouldn't say I'm 100% happy though. I have not seen my mom since I was nine and I missed her dearly. It would mean the world to me if she could make it to see me off to prom and graduation. Every time I asked my grandma why I couldn't see her, she would just brush it off and that pisses me off. I deserve to have at least one of my parents in my life.

The song I was writing was entitled Mother, I wanted to record this so badly. I wamom to know how much I love and her miss her. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I read over the words. She was the missing piece in my life. I need her.

I got up from my desk and stormed towards my grandma's room. She was sitting on her queen size bed reading the bible.

"Hey baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" She asked me with nothing but concern on her face.

"Granny, please tell me where my mom is. I miss her so much. I feel so lost and empty knowing that l don't have neither of my parents in my life. Granny please just tell me the truth." I said while crying. I felt so broken inside.

She sat the bible down before speaking. "Come here Paradise."

I went over to the bed and sat down. I turned to face her and she sighed heavily before speaking.

"The man that was your mother's so called boyfriend was a very dangerous man. He could have had you and Monica killed at any moment. Your stupid mother thought that by allowing him to do whatever he wanted to do to you was going to keep both of y'all safe. She could have went to the police. Now there are some very dangerous people after Monica for whatever reason and I don't want you to be around any of that mess. I cannot lose you Pari." She said using my nickname.

I can't believe all the things I was hearing. Something was missing though. I don't believe my grandma is telling the whole truth about what she knows but, I decided to push it in the back of my mind.

"So you haven't talk to her at all? Do you even know if she's still alive?" I asked.

"I talked to her about two weeks ago." She said barely above a whisper.

"What?!" I said a little louder than I intended to. I was furious. She's been talking to my mother this whole time and didn't even bother to tell me.

"Paradise I'm doing this to protect you!" She tried to reason.

"You could at least allow me to talk to her! I have went all these years without knowing if she was even alright. Do you know how that has fucked me up emotionally?!" I didn't mean to cuss at my grandma but, I couldn't help. There were too many emotions flowing through me.

"I'm so sorry Pari. I didn't realize how much it meant to you." She said. I could see the guilt in her face but, I didn't care.

She tried to hug me but, I backed away. I ran towards my room and began to pack my clothes. I couldn't stay here anymore.

I dialed Stacy's number and she answered on the second ring.

"Heyyy Girl!" She said cheerfully. I couldn't do nothing but cry into the phone.

"Oh my God, Paradise whats wrong?!" She screamed into the phone. It took me a minute to gain my composer.

"I can't stay here anymore Stacy." I croaked out.