Lost In Paradise(EDITING)

9. Cleaning Out my Closet

Paradise

Its been about three weeks since I've met Khalil and he turned out to be a real cool dude. He texts me every morning, Face time me at night. We have the most interesting conversations and he makes me laugh. I really like him.

Last night he asked me if he could take me out on a date and I felt uneasy about that. I told him that I had to think about it. He was confused at first but left it alone after that.

I needed to talk to my Bestfriend because I knew she would know that right things to say to me. She told me she was bringing along her friend and I was okay with that.

The doorbell rung and I knew it was Stacy and her friend as I got up from the couch to let them in. My granny and grandpa went out of town for their 40th wedding anniversary. To be with someone that long and still have strong feelings for each other is a blessing. I hope I can find love like that one day.

"Hey babe!" Stacy greeted me when I open the door. I smiled and looked to her side to see some tall dude standing next to her. He looked damn near as tall as Shaq.

I smirked at Stacy as she rolled her eyes and shook her head. She had a box pizza in her hand while her friend had chips and pop in his.

Stacy sat the pizza box down on the dining table before turning to me and her friend. "Paradise this is Julio, Julio this is Paradise." She introduced us. I shook his hand. We all sat down on the couch to find a movie to watch on Tv.

"So how did you and Stacy meet?" I asked Julio after taking a bite out of my pizza.

"We live on the same street. We met about three years ago and have been close every since. I'm glad to finally meet you Ms Paradise, that is all Stacy has been talking about is having us meet each other." After it finished talking I noticed that his voice was not as deep as I thought it would be. In fact, it was almost as light as mine.

"Wow really? Well its nice to meet you too." I turned to Stacy to see her chowing down on the pizza she order. That's one thing about me and her, we don't play about our food!

"Yea Paradise, you and Julio have been through similar situations so I thought it would be good for y'all to meet, maybe you can talk to him about what you're going through." I cut my eyes at her because Stacy knew I didn't like to talk about the past. It was too much for me to handle then and its too much for me to handle now.

"No, no offense to you Julio but I can't talk to anyone about that. I don't want to relive the pain." I said as I could feel the tears starting to form.

Julio sat his plate down before speaking. "Girl I know exactly what you're feeling. I've been through more shit than I could handle or so I thought. You have to learn how to open up and let people in. Holding in all that pent up emotions and anger is only going to result in you not being happy. What do you do when you are feeling overwhelmed?" He asked me and I was unsure if I wanted to tell a complete stranger that. If Stacy says he's been through the same thing that I have been through then maybe he'll understand my pain.

"I sing and write out what I'm feeling. I end up turning them into songs. I guess I use music as I way to escape from my pain." I told him honestly. I actually felt good to talk to someone about this.

"That's good. I write poetry to get my emotions out but, I learned how to open up to people as well. Its going to take some time but, I promise you will feel a lot better once you open up." I took what he said into consideration. It may be good for me to talk about my problems. But I still wasn't sure.

"Okay I see what you're saying. But I don't think it is going to stop my fear in men. Khalil has been asking me to go out on a date with him and I just can't do it. I'm too afraid to be alone with a guy." I told them both honestly. Ever since the incident, I could never be around a guy by myself.