The Devil's Son: As Cold As Ice

Chapter Thirteen: Guilt

It felt like eternity as I watch Damian stare down at his own hands with disappointment and despair. As for I, I cannot believe what this man did to me. Never in these thousands of years had I felt anger, despair or this pain again. Yet, he manages to bring it all out at once. I have no heart and I have no feelings; that has been what it was like for all these years. Somehow, he manages to break through the wall built by me. Even though it is a tiny hole, he still got this much out of me. He actually manages to make me spill out that much hate.

‘Brother……’ Damian said apologetically but I didn’t want to hear or talk about it anymore. I didn’t want any of my emotions to run out. I do not want to feel that pain again. Coldly, I changed the subject. This question had been in my mind for a long, long time, even before his betrayal. I wanted an answer. ‘She looks a lot like Juliette.’ I said. I wanted to know if she had a kin and most of all…… Angrily, Damian replied. ‘She isn’t her, brother.’ Although, I could hear him reply me, I cannot answer back as I remember all the things we did with her. ‘My little sister.’ I said weakly. As though the fight before wasn’t enough, he had to bring this up, even though he knew that I knew it all along. ‘She died, brother.’ He said weakly.

Anger burns through the tiny hole of my defense as hate pours out like lava and magma. An uncontrollable despair leaks out at the same time. Words that I have been avoiding for a long time runs out like prisoner escaping. ‘I know that! I know that! I do not need the likes of you to tell me that! She was my sister! Our little sister!’ I admitted. He knew that I have been avoiding this subject for a long time. He knows that I wanted answers but because I trusted him, I kept quiet. Maybe now, I no longer need to. He is no longer someone that I can trust anyway. ‘You killed her!’ I said with anger. I felt no pain in my body just hate. Like a guilty puppy, he dares not lift up his head to face me. ‘Why? Why would you do that?’ I asked.

‘I had no choice, brother.’ Damian replied with his head still down. What kind of answer is that? No, is that even an answer. What did he mean that he had no choice? That girl, Juliette was our little sister. There is always a choice! ‘Why? Answer me!’ I shouted as though I could get the answer more quickly even though I knew that the answer might break me. Finally, the guilty dog looks up at me with hesitation. It was as though he didn’t want to tell me. Does that not prove how guilty and cold hearted he is? He must be afraid. Then, he spoke up. ‘Juliette didn’t tell you this but she told me that she was dying.’ Slowly, he stood up as though courage came to him and his guilt was taken away. He dare face me. Even though Juliette was human, she was too young to die. He must be making excuses. ‘She was dying because you killed her soul mate!’ He said. Once again, another sharp dagger pierce into my heart as I watch him said it with anger in his eyes, yet guilt in his words. My legs weaken as I struggle to keep balance. My back hit against the wall and my breathing stopped. I killed her soul mate? Is that true? But I do not remember doing so at all! It must be a lie! It must be!  ‘What do you mean she had a soul mate? Who was that?’ I asked. I did not know if it was the right question to ask but I needed an answer. ‘Alexander Dalca, the vampire.’ Damian answered.

Memories of that boy brought me back to the past. I could remember it so clearly in my head. It was a windy evening. I was tired of hunting and got back early. Just as I approached the house, I saw her being shaken by that boy. Her eyes were wide open with fear and the boy kept shaking her. Anger rise to my throat as the thought of this filthy vampire wants my sister. I threw down my things and ran towards the boy. With ease I drag his sorry ass away from her and formed a dagger on my hand and run it straight through his chest. That is what he gets from trying to touch my little sister. A disgusting man like him would never be my little sister’s soul mate! There is no way!

‘She told me that when you got back to the house, you saw him holding her, shaking her. You thought that he was trying to rape her and so you drag his vampire ass away from her and stab him in the chest in front of her with your ice dagger!’ Damian spat with anger. ‘You didn’t even let her explain. All you did was that to call her to go back to sleep. But how can she sleep when she just saw her soul mate died in the hands of her brother?’

My breathing did not return. I cannot move. No, there is no way that this is true. It must be an excuse! ‘Then, why the hell did he shook her?’ I asked. With no hesitation in his eyes, he replied in an instance and he glare straight into me to show that he isn’t lying. ‘Juliette was in Alexander’s thought, Sebastian. Alexander didn’t know, because Juliette was spacing out completely and did not speak a word. Alex was shock, brother. So he shook her to try to wake her up.’ My breathing came back but it was hard to breathe. I look down on the floor as my vision blurring. I heard Sebastian said something but it was not clear. There is a loud ringing in my ear that I cannot hear anything clearly now.

I push myself up and tried my best to walk. The walk towards my car was like a thousand miles away. Every move I made feels heavy. Is this the feeling of guilt? It felt so bad that I wished that I didn’t exist in this world. I felt like disappearing.