The darkest path, the walking dead

Chapter 5: Gone

Carl's P.O.V
"Mum what happened to Luna's face" I ask confused, I know Luna doesn't hate me and I know that she's only pushing me away because she doesn't know how to let people care about her so I'm determined to be the person who she lets into that mind of hers, I'm determined to be the person who stands by her when no one else will, I want to be the reason she stays in our group.
"Carl I need you to listen to me you are not to be around her anymore, do you understand?" My mum says getting down to my height. I look at her shocked for a second but then I realise that she must have hit Luna and that's why she said ask your mother, the shock turns into anger pretty dam quick.
"You hit her!" I yell, my mum's expression didn't change which tells me that she had hit her, I couldn't believe it this is not like my mum. I turn to walk after Luna because I know that she will leave. I start to walk but mum grads my arm and pulls me back.
"I said you're not going near her again!" My mum yells. I look at her with a mixture of shock and anger.
"What did she do to deserve this mum? I told you I followed her she didn't know I was there and she made me go back as soon as she realised!" I yell trying to pull free of my mum's grip but she wouldn't let go no matter how hard I pull, I fall to the ground and finally mum lets go but I know it is too late Luna is gone and mum know it two because she doesn't stop me from running into the RV to find it empty. A single tear rolls down my cheek for two reasons, one because she's gone and there's nothing I can do to make her come back I can tell because she's very stubborn and once she's made her mind up she sticks to it the only person who can change her mind is her and also because she would be too far away by now for me to catch up to her on foot and none of the adults will be allowed to take me because mum will yell at them and the second reason is because being in here reminds me of when I walked in this morning and Luna and Lucas where almost kissing to be honest I doesn't know why that made me so sad and angry but it did. I want her back but she's not coming back, I had myself convinced that I was going to be the reason she stay here and now I know that it was stupid to think that maybe she liked me the way I liked her or should I say the way I like her. I know there was something broken inside her and I have know it since she ran out of that building in the city, I don't know why but I can tell she's been though more than anyone can imagine. All I know is that she thinks that she doesn't deserve her last name which probably means she blames herself for her family's death and I know that she shot her father and he wasn't bitten, I don't know what he did to deserve it but I know she wouldn't kill someone unless they deserved it. She was broken and I thought I could fix her but she didn't want to be fixed she just wanted to leave and to be honest I'm worried about her not because I think a walker or a person will hurt her but I'm worried that she will hurt herself I'm worried that she will lose her mind from the guilt that I can tell she carries inside her or maybe that's not why maybe she will lose her mind because of how alone she is or maybe I know and I have known since I first saw her, just as a glimpse of a girl running out of the building maybe I know just by the way she ran or because she was scared of us or because she couldn't be around other people but maybe I knew that she was insane from the moment I saw her but I still refuse to think that she can't be fixed. I run out of the RV.
"LUNA, LUNA, LUNA!" I scream until someone grads me from behind.
"Carl stop she's gone" Lucas says.
"How can you say that, she could get hurt" I yell tears filling my eyes.
"You know as well as I do that she doesn't care if she gets hurt and she's smarter than that" he says looking me in the eyes, I don't know how he could be saying this.
"Just because she didn't care about her safety doesn't mean we can't care about her" I yell again but this time I don't wait to hear what he says, I storm away. Everyone else is standing around the fire, I join in the conversation.
"We need to leave, if we are going to make it to fort benning's them we need to get going soon" dad says but we can't leave what if she comes back.
"No! We can't leave what if Luna comes back!" I yell fighting off tears, they all look at me sympathetically but my mum who just looked angry but then finally someone breaks the silence but they don't say what I want to hear.
"She's not coming back Carl she wouldn't leave and then just come back" Glenn says sadly from across the fire but that's not what broke my heart.
"Luna promised she wouldn't leave me, she said she will protect me forever" cries Sophia and that broke my heart twelve times over. My sadness turned into raging anger, how could she leave Sophia like that! How could she leave me like that! Carol rushes over to Sophia and holds her into a tight embrace.
"It's ok Sophia, its ok" carol tries to calm her down. I don't know why but we have only known her for a few days and it hit me like I had known her for year and I know it did the same for Sophia and Lucas even if Lucas wouldn't show it. The thing I didn't understand was why did all the kids seem to have a bond with her even when she pushed us away and all the adults apart from Glenn seemed to think it was a good thing she was gone. I miss her and I don't know why, I don't think I will ever understand Luna the way she shut people out, the way she hated people I'll never understand that, if only she had just let me in but something just hits me I was doing the same thing as Luna I didn't want to speak with anyone I just wanted to shut them out but I wouldn't, I couldn't.
"This is all your fault!" I screamed at my mum, her face grows angry as she looks at me.
"She was a messed up child and on most of our opinions it's for the best that she's gone" mum says referring to the adults, I thought Lucas was a lot like Luna in a way he was good at hiding emotions the same way she was good at hiding how attached she is getting to people but he had a breaking point. I wonder if Luna stayed I could have broken down her walls?
"Don't you dare talk about her like that" Lucas snaps finally yelling at my mum. My mum's face grows shock and so does Lucas's mother carol.
"Don't you dare talk to an adult like that" carol scolds Lucas and Sophia steps away from her mother and falls into her brother's arms as he rubs her back. This is the first time in a long time I've seen them hug, now I think about it this is the first time I've seen them hug since Ed their father had died and even before that they hardly talked. Carols face turns into shock as she looks at Sophia and Lucas.
"Imagine if it was you who had died and your daughter had been found by a group is this how you would want them to treat her, imagine if it was me mum" I say as calmly as possible to all the adults but mainly my mum and carol.
"I would never have raised a monster like her in the first place" my mum snaps and my jaw drops in shock.
"Yeah well your parent sure did a great job at raising you then didn't they Lori" Lucas says coldly at my mum and I stand there smiling Lucas had always been a smart ass. carol gasps in shock as she looks at Lucas wide eyed who is not smiling like me but giving my mum a death stare, to be honest I think all the over adults are too scared to even say anything, I know that my dad is standing watching with is mouth hanging open and his eyes wide and I haven't seen him blink in at least a last minute.
"Lucas Ed Peletier get into the RV this second" screams carol.
"That's not my middle name anymore I don't want that piece of shit name anywhere near mine" Lucas snaps at his mother and I'm confused about why he wouldn't want his dead fathers name. Lucas storms off while Sophia still holds tightly to his side as they walk into the RV. Everyone took a second to comprehend what had just happened and then their eyes fall on me like they were waiting for me to walk off with them.
"You say she had issues but you never took the time to know her and you know what she might have been messed up and maybe she was a "bad person" but the way this went down we are the bad guys and I hope you know you probably just killed a little girl who just need someone to care about her even if she wouldn't show it!" I say coldly and I finally stormed off to the RV. Sophia was a mess on the bed and Lucas holds her tightly so I try to make myself comfortable on the floor. It takes a couple of hours for Sophia's sobs to stop as she finally drifted into a deep sleep.
"She's finally asleep" Lucas sighs.
"Thank god" I whisper and Lucas chuckles slightly.
"Why do you and Sophia never talk?" I ask trying to make conversation.
"Because she always believed my dad was a good guy and she would hate it when he and I got into fights" he sighs.
"Is that where you learnt how to be a smart ass?" I asks. If he was arguing with his dad a lot then he would have had to learn how to be a smart ass.
"No it wasn't that kind of fighting Carl" Lucas says softly.
"Oh" I say quietly "is that why you said that you don't want his name as your middle name?" I ask.
"Not really it was reasons we would get into fights that would make me hate him" Lucas sighs.
"Why did you guys fight then?" I ask slowly.
"Because he used to hit my mum and even some very bad nights he would...look at Sophia..... Don't worry the main thing is he was a abusive dick head and when I got old enough I would stop him, he was a coward he would only hurt my mum because she wouldn't fight back he would never hurt her or Sophia when I was around" He answers and my jaw fell open.
"So if you were protecting your mum and sister why did you hate them so much I mean you still hate your mum I haven't seen you sleep in their tent since Ed died?" I ask.
"I don't hate Sophia I just didn't like how she thought her dad was a good man, she thought her dad was a good man the way you thought your dad was dead when everyone was telling you he was dead and I hated my mum because she let it happen I don't know why I think she just convinced herself that it was ok after a while and that's why she hated me because I was the only one who didn't think it was ok" Lucas sighs and them we drifted Into a uneasy sleep. I dream of here green eyes and her long beautiful brown hair why would she leave us? I know she would be all I would dream about for awhile, oh Luna I will miss you.
I wake to Lucas shaking me, is she back? I sit up as fast as I can.
"Carl hurry" Lucas yells as Sophia cries. I look to see the RV moving. I jump up running toward the driver, dale.
"Dale stop now what if Luna comes back" Lucas yells, this guy always surprises me at first I thought he didn't think she was coming back now he does.
"I'm sorry kids I can't stop if she was coming back she would have by now" Dale tells us, I feel like something is stabbing me through the heart as I realised he is right she wouldn't have left in the first place. I give Lucas a sad look at the same time he gives me the same look. We both walk back to the bed and sit on both sides of Sophia trying to calm her down.
"Dam Luna you really left your mark" Lucas finally sobs and we all brake down together.