Gentle

Him or Him or Him With Me

*A/N: WASN'T THAT LIKE THE GREATEST CHAPTER IN HISTORY?! Anyway, I come back with like 28 more reads?! Amazing! You all make me ASDFGHJKL; :D But seriously... THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!(: I love writing and you guys are making me smile with all these reads and beautiful comments and feedback. #R5FamilyForever OK OK TO THE POINT: I've been informed that some people don't know who R5 is? They're a family band with one friend. But you should really look that up because this whole thing might get confusing. Thanks again for reading and you know the routine. Here's the next chapter. Sorry if it's a bit boring and rubbish, but my previous chapter was rockin' though, right?! :D Enjoy... I guess! BTW THIS IS MOSTLY MOLLY THINKING IN HER HEAD AND KINDA IMPORTANT TOO SO YAH!*

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  The next morning, everyone was off doing their own thing like we all do on usual days off. The band was out shopping at malls with Stormie and Mark while Ryland wanted to just chill out in the hotel rooms. I prefer to get dressed and go out walking around town. 

   Double checking that Emma isn't in the room we share, I take off every single article of clothing I have on my body except my bra and boy shorts, Then I put on my cross t-shirt with my signature dark washed high waist shorts and slip on my black classic Toms. My hotel key and Vera Bradley purse are the last things I grab before I leave our hotel room.

   As I walk down the streets of Philly, I think about Taylor. Everything we have been through. Me going on tour and her taking college classes since she has enough credits to graduate. But I've also always been jealous of her. She's always been smarter than I by far and seeming to be prettier as well. No matter what, she's always had all the cute boys chasing her and for that reason, she had her first kiss before me. First opportunity at college. More athletic. Skinnier. WAY skinnier. Never getting hate because of her weight like I do almost... actually EVERY day. The only things I have as an advantage is me getting my first bra first, going on tour with R5 (which she couldn't care less about), and that I have a better personality.

   Not to sound cocky, but it is true. I have a great personality. People always tell me I'm hilarious and so sweet at the same time as well as sarcastic. I'm a person that will speak their mind whether you want to hear it or not, you're still gonna hear the shit I need to tell you! She pretends to be so "shy," when she's really not. Always hiding her nose in a book whereas I couldn't care less about reading of any sort. I have a strong personality which I think is more important than anything else. Honestly. If I were to play the "shy and insecure" card when I auditioned to open for R5, I probably wouldn't have even gotten a call back. 

   I'm not really sure if they really care about my strong-willed personality. All of them seem to like it and hang around me so I guess I don't intimidate them. Good. But do I scare Ryland? Even the littlest bit? I hope so. He's always flirting and everything even if he says he's "gentle when it comes to liking girls." Yeah, ok. Probably had 20 girlfriends in the passed year, fucked a bunch of the fans. Yes Ryland, I see you hanging around with them at the merch table with them bending over the counter and you staring at their boobs that are basically about to fall out of their shirt. When they ask if you can hold up their shirts to see if they will fit, I see when you touch their butts "on accident" as soon as you're done fitting them. I do notice when you take pictures with them and they kiss your cheek. All the beautiful, skinny girls wearing their see-through halter tops and a skimpy bralette underneath and you look at them with such love in your beautiful brown eyes.

   I also realize you look at me different than them too. You see me more admiringly but also a banter as well. Sometimes, I'm not sure if you're aware of it, you look at me a little disgusted when I walk around the bus with my sweats on when it's about 75 degrees out. Yes, Ry, I do know it's hot and yeah, I sweat in those baggy sweatpants though everything else I wear makes me look larger than I really am. Sure I'm insecure. I basically hate myself and get torn apart on Twitter each and every day. When I first came through the door to my audition that beautiful afternoon, that's how I want to see you look at me. With fire, desire, passion, heart, and need. 

   Desperate need.

   Why can't you be more like Riker or Ross? Ross does flirt a lot with all of the other girls but to a minimum where it's not too over the top. He may check out their butts once in a while, but sometimes, I do catch him looking at mine too. It's part of what he's suppose to be. The "Bad Boy." The one who may be on a little kid's show on Disney, Ross has so much more spark. So bad and dirty with his abs that could literally be defined as "washboard abs." No lie. He's always pushing me up against the walls and whispering the dirty things to me like "Wow, if I wasn't gonna go on stage right now, babe, you and me would be in my bunk all night long." That is, if Ross actually followed through with the dumb shit he says. Maybe I do wish he would have sex with me. I mean, he's pretty good-looking. Nice too and always kind towards the fans. He even pretends to like the Austin and Ally fans when he tells me all the time he despises them.

   But Riker, he just hugs the fans and then they are gone. Definitely shy, unlike you, Ryland. He's the true meaning of gentle. Quiet eyes, mysterious movements. Differently different, is what I would say about him. So beautiful too. The smiles he produces could literally light the sun, they shine so bright. Everything he does is perfect to me. Always loved him... will I keep that streak alive? Who knows. Who knows which one of you I like. You dammed Lynch boys. Always causing trouble, always stealing my heart, always taking my breath away.

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