Mother fvcking feels

Temporary (Luke Hemmings)

" 'Close your eyes and think of me.' remember that? Just think of me. Think of my smell, my clothes, my laugh. Think of the way i touch you when you need me. When you want me. Think of the way i love you and the way i look at you when you're being silly, or when you say a lame joke. Think of me. Touch me me with your imagination. Think of how sleepy you are when we watch movies, even when you aren't sleepy before or after. Think of how i kiss you when im mad. Think of how i kiss you when im sad. When im excited. When im...excited. Think of me singing to you when you need a lullaby think of me singing to you when you're numb. Remember when we fell in love? Remember when you agreed to being the girlfriend of and extremely busy band member? Remember when we met? Remember when i first kissed you? When i fell in love with you i knew it wasn't just a crush...i wanted to be with you forever...When i asked you be mine you laughed at me and my cheeks flushed. When we met, you were so out of my league i didn't wanna talk to you. What a disaster it would've been if i didn't. When i first kissed you, everything was numb except my heart, my lips, and my hand you were holding. You heal me. Yet you tear me apart like salt in a wound. You're so toxic, and so healthy. Remember when i cooked for you the first time? You tried to eat it and enjoy it but i could tell you didn't like it. I Remember that. You were so sweet about it. Close your eyes, and think of when hold you when i walk through your door at midnight from a 7 month tour. Think of how heartbroken i was when you left me. Look baby...you're finally closing your eyes." he lets the tears stream down his face and the passages in his nose get blocked.
"I got something for you" he says with his voice breaking.
"I got you your favorite flowers, babe". He chokes on his heart and gasps for air, just to repeat it again. He bends down and lies the lilies on the dirt 6 feet above your death bed.
"I love you" he says in a whisper.
"You said you loved me but you left...you left me alone...you fucking left me..please come back...im sorry for hurting your feelings, im sorry for ignoring you, im sorry for the dumb excuses i came up with...please come back, come back, come back!!" he screams pulling at his hair and crying harder as his headache gets worse.
"Please, i need you so much... I need you more than anything" he touches the concrete headboard with your name and life span on it.
"I want you to touch me again, i want you to hold me please, i need you to hold me. I wanna wake up from this nightmare and jump into your arms one more time please, i won't believe you're gone no. I don't believe it...you're still here...i can feel you..." he plays with the dirt 6feet above your casket.
"I love you i love you i love you" he still whispers over and over again.
His throat is sore and his head is killing him.
"I miss you here...i wanna kiss you" he sobs into his hands.
"You're so pretty...so beautiful" he whispers.
"Please take me with you...I'm coming with you okay? You won't have to hear me cry anymore". He stand up from kneeling and looks up into the sky.
"I'll be there soon...i promise kay? I promise baby girl. Don't worry I'll be there. We'll be together forever, forever"
He takes his ring and places it on top of your headstone. He walks away without turning back, to his temporary car, driving off from the temporary cemetary, going to his temporary home, to write his temporary note, wiping his temporary tears, and ending his temporary life, just because of a temporary problem with his temporary fans, causing her to end her temporary life, because she thought she wasn't good enough for her temporary boyfriend.

People aren't worth it. You can't let people get to you, and i know you you're saying you've heard this a million times but it's true. It gets better okay? It gets better. Dont let people have the last word, show them that you're a fighter, and you can handle so much more than them. There's always always someone going through the same thing you are, and i know it may feel like there isn't, but there is. I feel alone, i feel, every thing you feel, i get it. I may not have empathy, but i have sympathy, and i can totally understand how you feel. Im not a comforter, i suck at that, but i know how it feels, and i know it gets better. Please hang in there, i love you. I need you. You're so important. God loves you. He knows when any little animal dies, so im sure he knows about your problems. You dont have anything you can't handle kay? You're strong and i love you. So much. Please stay.