Reflections of my Heart (Part I )

He knows....

November 28,2003

It was an ordinary busy afternoon while walking towards the Church to go to Mass. The streets were filled with people scurrying around for a ride, walking hurriedly on the pedestrian, leisurely striding on a sidewalk and people sitting comfortably on their air conditioned cars or irritably on public transportations with all the humid air and dust blowing on their faces. My vision were consumed by the ordinariness of everyday life, intent only on the task ahead of me.

Then, in the sudden movement of my head, I stopped and came across the faces of these ordinary people doing their own thing on that busy street and my heart saw some thing that I've never seen before and questions filled my soul. It was so vivid, I could hear every heartbeat.

How many of these people knew that they are loved?.....How many of them lived in limbo because they don't know where to go or what to do?.....How many of them recognized who they are and accepted what they've been?.....How many were hurting right now but hiding behind a smile or a mask of indifference?.....How many were in deep trials that they wish only to die rather than to live?.....How many were ready to give everything for the reason of loving?.....How many walked in insecurities, hiding behind the pretense of self-righteousness and false confidence?

As I stood there on the sidewalk, waiting for my turn to cross the street, more questions continued to swirl around my mind......How many of these people had a stance of not caring but in truth, really cares a lot?..... How many were struggling for a living just to get by for a day, not knowing if they have enough for tomorrow?.....How many of them were waiting for the future either in dread or anticipation?.....How many were dying inside because nobody cares if they are alive?.....How many of them have the courage to be vulnerable, to let others see their fears, dreams and greatest desires?.....How many of them could still tolerate to live in the unfairness of the world and life itself?.....How many wanted or needed to survive just to prolong their life?

I don't know the answers to my questions. I stood there on the sidewalk speechless, confused and vulnerable. I could hear the ticking of my wounded heart as I tried to perceive who these people really are. And somehow, I could only perceive a little, just a fraction of their entire substance and a whole lot of mine. I will never know the enormity of their situations. My perception is vague, like a colored glass on a table, unclear but focused yet looking at the outside.

These sense of vagueness points me to the One who I know, knew everything. The complexity of man's life didn't deter Him from changing His glorious throne for a mere stable in order to live here on earth and died on the Cross for the cause of love. A love that He only can give us....unconditionally without reservations.

Then, sadness crept into my heart as one last question dawn inside my head.....How many of these people knew that Someone loved them so much He chose to die for their sins, forgetting His Kingly attributes just to save His beloved?.....That, also, I don't know.

All I know is that He knows. He saw the need. He saw the desperation, the facade, the hunger and He knows He could fill them, heal them, purify them and give them new beginnings. Deep inside, I craved for them to know and I prayed that they will accept Him. A choice that they need to do if they only knew.....