Reflections of my Heart (Part I )

The Downside

October 07, 2014

Things happen for a reason, that's what they say, but for a person who is at her lowest, the reason is so far away. The only thing in her mind is, why is this happening to me?

People tend to forget to rejoice when the going gets tough because it is simply hard to. The question "why" is a mantra that keeps on booming around your head, mocking you to think, of all people, "why me? "

Then, self-pity comes in, taunting you, making you feel so small that you thought that you're the most pitiable creature on earth who doesn't deserve even a trickle of happiness in this world.

You start to blame others, the circumstances, even God, the weather or the curtain in your room just to appease the pain and the disappointments you feel inside. To somehow make sense in the senseless circumstances that you are going through.

The process is agonizing, sometimes, too downright scary to be true but then, it is there, it is real. But in the inmost recesses of your brain, you knew, this is part of life. A life with its ups and downs. A fitting reminder that we are still alive and breathing.

When life became a straight line then that's where the problem lies, we simply stop living, hoping, loving, losing, crying, hurting so on and so forth. We simply cease to exist and that's another word for dying.

During this time of lowliness, when life just kick me on my butt and left me crawling in the mud, there is one thing I always do, I just keep still and know that He is God. He promised in His Word that there is no temptation or trials beyond that I can't take and He will never leave me nor forsake me. And as far as my past keeps on reminding me, ( mind you, a past that I welcome ), He never fail on His promises.

As I took a deep breath after I finished writing this midget reflection, it made me smile. I felt my chest expanded, heard my heart beating and I thank God, I'm still alive :)

Breathe, my friend....you're still living....you'll see, everything will be alright....