Reflections of my Heart (Part I )

Sometimes

February 27,2015

Sometimes, loneliness gripped me like a shackle in chain. My heart constricted with longing I just can't evade nor discard. It is just there embedded within my heart for a time, an hour, a day, a week but I embraced it fully knowing this too shall pass.

Loneliness makes me dream in desperation. It makes me want to grasp and face the longing of my heart. It makes me see that I still need to move on and long for something better, something great that I needed in my life. This emotion is contrary to depression because the latter points you to longing without hope, settling and getting stuck while the former in a positive context nudges you to struggle to get out and reach out to what were missing inside your heart that you really dreamed of.

It maybe a spouse, a child, a companion, a friend, a family, a community. Someone you could relate to, to have fun with, to understand, to care, to love. Loneliness is not a negative feeling. It is the epitome of companionship, of camaraderie, that we need people beside us, that we are not alone. It is a longing to belong, to share what we have and be accepted.

That is why I embrace it fully. It gives me a sense of freedom to long for something even though at times I don't even know what I was longing for. And for those times I do know, it became my opportunity to give my supplication to God and tell Him what I longed for. A scene that many times moved me more closer to Him.

Loneliness made me face my inadequacy of being alone. It made me move when complacency became a routine and my soul needed something to prod me to pray, to dream and to face the fact that I needed someone not in discouraging desperation but in belongingness. To help me grow, walk, run and if possible, fly.

Right now my loneliness points me to my Savior to whom I owe every good things in life and that includes this loneliness that I'm feeling. Maybe, this feeling is pointing me to the greatest longing of all, being home in Heaven where all wrong emotions vanish and love prevails. Love unconditional. Love that surpasses. Love itself is present, on the throne and loneliness vanquish, never to be dealt with again and again and again.....