Reflections of my Heart (Part I )

When is the Right Time?

February 23,2015

When is the right time to let go of someone? When is the time to give up on a relationship despite the love that you feel toward that person? When is the time to close the door when you're heart is having a battle with your brain when you knew that that person is not building you up anymore? How will you know the boundary between love and obsession?

I've been pondering all these questions inside my mind and I really didn't know the answers to all my queries. We all have distinctive reasons why. Some were valid and some were just alibis.

All the things that I knew about letting go were manifested through my own experiences from my past relationships and the tales that my friends who were closest to me entailed their own letting go melodramas.

When you find yourself being with someone who is consumed by insecurities that he won't recognize the greatness inside you. His jealousy and criticisms overflow until you found yourself getting smaller and smaller everyday and you became this insignificant person who doesn't have the right to be who you are.....It is time to let go.

When you find yourself being with someone who is being haunted by his past love and he seemingly interchanged you for that ghost who's been haunting him and that past person's transgressions were now your own even though it doesn't belong to you at all.....It is time to let go.

When you find yourself being with someone who cares for you a lot and then suddenly shoving you away without even blinking. When you've spent your life with him in a pulling and pushing cycle of emotional rollercoaster, to the point of being afraid if today you both were alright or tomorrow everything is wrong..... It is time to let go.

When you find yourself being with someone who doesn't show any respect of your values and beliefs but kept on telling you how much he loves you and respect you but do things to you that contradict his loving words and instigated things to deviate you from what you believe in.....It is time to let go.

When you find yourself being with someone who only uses you for his own lustful needs, not caring about your own, when lies were the highlight of his world and still haughtily thought that you just can't live without him by manipulating you in a situation where you wrongfully thought you needed him.....It is time to let go.

When you find yourself being with someone who depends on you so much that he made you his crutches and his own personal lifeguard and whenever he needs or wants you, you must always be ready to save him from all his maladies because you owe it to him by having this relationship with him......It is time to let go.

When you find yourself being with someone who wanders around, eyes still searching and hearts still coveting for someone else's despite the fact that he knows where he made his commitment with but still not satisfied with what he got.....It is time to let go.

When you find yourself with someone who abuses you physically, ranting all his anger towards you because of his own inadequacies and failures, the vicious cycle of asking forgiveness from you and making you a punching bag again.....It is time to let go.

I'm not saying that letting go is the answer to all of these scenarios that I laid down in this reflection. These were just some of the things that I found myself in conflict with my past relationships and my friends tiring plethora of heartaches and cycles of melodramatic burdens that you just knew wouldn't change.

When marriage is still not in the midst of your relationship, then let's stop to consider whether the person we are with at this moment with all these scenarios being presented to you will make your marriage work later on. Let's not forget that marriage is for a lifetime not just for a little while.

I thank God that He is always present when I found myself having relationships dilemma and will always point out to me why I have to let go. This also applies to any friendship that I am with and every person that I've met along the way. Just like what they said, some people were only there to be your acquaintance, some became your friend for a while and some for a lifetime.

Whatever happens to any of my relationships, either for keeps or to let go, I knew it wasn't in vain because of all the lessons that helped me became who I am right now. The pain, the anger, the confusions, the rejections, all the tears that I've cried in letting go of someone showed me what I'm capable of and made me stronger than ever. It changes me to become a much better person and to decide to forgive no matter what.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you need to be with that person physically but it means letting go and forgetting what lies behind and moving forward to what lies ahead, believing in faith that the grace of God will be there to mend, to heal, to hope and to continue loving and living despite the stormy seasons of my relationships.

Everything is not lost and with the guidance of my Almighty Father, what I've lost for or emptied out of me will come back to me a hundred fold. All I needed to do is to surrender my brokenness before His throne and a new day will dawn again and a new love will come, this time for keeps, the right time and the right one I can't and wont let go of.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hope all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a