Reflections of my Heart (Part I )

Me and Limitations

February 13,2015

Two years ago, I was diagnosed with an inflamed ligaments on the upper left side of my spinal column due to wrong posture while working. My back suffered so much pain when I did a strenuous activity. Since then, my Physiatrist told me not to do any activities that connotes some heavy lifting like carrying a child, heavy objects or even a difficult surgical procedure pertaining to my work and I need to rest my back from time to time if ever I felt the pain. Then, last year, another blow pelt down my physical condition when I was diagnosed with hormonal cyst on my right ovary.

With all of this physical limitations, everything in my way of life halted in order for me to divert myself in much lesser outward activities than what I used to before and forced myself to accept my so-called physical rest.

For a time, it was a frustrating and discouraging news for me because I am used to be busy as a bee and now I need to consider and think about my physical condition before doing something that I never thought of consciously. These means fewer Clinic hours, fewer patients, less financial provisions, added budget for Medical appointments and medicines on top of bill payments and other expenses.

Let me tell you, I was anxious about my finances and fearful of my health instability. I've asked myself at that time, what will I do now?

As I pointed out everything to the Lord about my predicament, the Lord reminded me of my vision seventeen years ago when I was fearful to manage my own Clinic alone. I was just starting then and that vision helped me conquer my fear.

I saw myself standing in front of my patient, doing my treatment and standing behind me is the Lord Jesus Christ, holding my hand as I did my procedures. Then, He spoke to me clearly, "You are not the Doctor in this Clinic, I Am."

Since then, every time I encountered hindrances or trials barring my services to the Lord in my work place or even when I went astray from my purpose in life, I always remember that vision and reminded myself that He is in control.

This limitation that I am going through is another manifestation of His sovereignty over me and my situations. He made a promise and whatever the enemy hurled at me, that vision, that purpose, that goal will remain and always will be with me until the Lord says otherwise.

Now, I am used to the changes in my way of life. My frustration has stopped, discouragement vanished and my complaining mellowed down. I am not saying that I became an expert in dealing positively in a difficult circumstances but I have a choice if I have to whine for the rest of my life or to dine and make the most out of my life about my fate at this moment.

Who knows, as I surrendered to
God's reign over me, I might find myself standing in the miraculous and I'll just wake up one day, finding that all these limitations were far away from me. But if God chooses not to then, I needed to accept everything that befits me and thank Him for His sovereignty over my health, my finances, my expenses and my life in general.

Anyway, I wouldn't be writing this reflection right now if not because of my limitations. I found out, I've neglected another talent that God gifted me with and that's my literary prowess. Doors were closed but another much bigger door is opening to me right now. I don't know where the Lord is taking me this time but with His sovereignty, nothing is a lost cause. I'm gonna enter this door not knowing the outcome or where it is leading me but with Jesus by my side, everything will gonna be alright.

I knew it and I am definitely excited!