Babyjay

Chapter Twelve- Reaction

Peeta's reaction was a great mix of things. I couldn't really tell what was going on though his head. At first he looked confused before he was able to process what I just said. After a few moments, he got a massive, priceless grin on his face. It almost made me feel better.

"Real or not real?" Peeta asks.

"Real." I say and look down.

"Katniss... Are you serious?" Peeta asks with excitement.

"I just said real didn't I?" I mutter without looking up.

He lifts my chin up. "You're kidding." He says. It's probably too good to be true for him.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Peeta." I say and a tear forces it's way out of my eye and roles down my cheek. He really just needs to shut up and believe it.

Peeta wipes the tear off my cheek. "Don't cry." He whispers and hugs me. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

"I'm sorry." I whisper but I don't pull away from his hug. It comforted me. "I'm just scared."

"Don't be scared." He says pulling away and looking at me. "It's going to be okay. Trust me. Everything's gonna be okay."

"I know it's just... I told myself that I would never have kids but now it's happening and I just can't do this. I'm sorry." I bury my face into his chest and sob.

"Shh. It's gonna be okay." He whispers and runs his fingers through my hair comfortingly.

I look up at him. "I just don't know what to do, Peeta. Ever since..." I have to pause. Thinking about the games and the rebellion how I lost so many people I love including my sister. Prim. Who was only just thirteen. Who never got to experience a true, safe life. Panem is safe now for the most part. There's no more games. No more cruel punishments. No more people starving to death. Everyone is safe. I just hope it can stay this way. I can't let my child experience what I've been through. I'd give up my life for Prim and my child in a heartbeat. As long as they're safe. "Everything happened... I can barely take care of myself, Peeta. And now there's a living thing inside me. One that relies on me for everything. I couldn't even protect Prim or Rue. What if I can't protect this one?"

Peeta looks at me as if I punched him in the gut. "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true!" I snap, pull away, and turn around.

"Katniss.." He starts softly and moves closer to me so he's right behind me. My arms are crossed and I'm looking down, my tears pouring onto my lap. Peeta wraps his arms around me from behind comfortingly. The warmth of his breath on my neck soothed me. "What happened with Prim and Rue wasn't your fault."

"How do you know? I witnessed Prim and Rue's death. If I had known, I could've saved them." Images of Prim and Rue's death enter my head. The spear entering Rue's stomach. The arrow flying into Marvel's neck. Rue collapsing onto me. Me singing the lullaby that I always sung to Prim. Rue's eyes fluttering shut and her taking her last breath. Her covered in flowers. And her mutt. When the Capitol used sweet little Rue's DNA and made it evil. And then Prim. The last time she looked at me. The last time saying my name. Her sparkling blue eyes fixed into mine desperate for help. But it was too late. I had watched Prim become a human torch. These thoughts were always overwhelming. I never really controlled them but they always brought me overwhelming emotion of pain, grief, guilt, sadness, and sorrow. I will never not feel guilty over Prim and Rue's death. These feelings just make me cry harder.

Peeta rests his chin on my shoulder. "There was nothing you could've done to save them. We lived in a cruel world. Ran by cruel people. But that's over now. You saved us. Because of you, our child will have a good life, there will be no chance of danger coming to him or her. He or she will be safe and it's all because of you. You have no idea how many lives you saved. And Prim and Rue are safe now. In wherever we go after we die. I know they're safe and I know they wouldn't want you to feel guilty."

He does have a point. But emotions are a powerful force. Certain thoughts will trigger certain emotions. You can't do anything about it. Feelings enter your mind with great strength. Strong enough to control you and eventually destroy you.

I don't want to really argue anymore. I'm tired since its only 4:00 a.m. And Peeta made his point. I sigh. "You're right. I'm sorry." I say and turn around and lay back down.

Peeta shakes his head. "Don't be. I know it's hard." He says and lays down. "But I promise we'll make it through this. Everything will be okay." He whispers and pulls my head onto my chest and kisses me on the forehead. I nod and drift off to sleep.

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Heyy. Omg thank you all for 1k reads. Finally updated again. Sorry for being long. You know. School. Only like ten more days or something like that. Praise The Lord. I honestly don't know what I'm gonna write in the next chapter. If you want you can leave suggestions in the comments and if I like your suggestion, I'll dedicate the next chapter to you. Yay so an update about my personal life. So the other day I was at the hospital because I had to get X-rays. I was doing a back hand spring and I straightened my arm to much and that my friends is how you hyperextend your elbow. Don't ever believe your coach when they say you can do something by yourself. So I finished The Fault In Our Stars today and omfg I was sobbing it is such a good book. It's a must read. So yeah that's it for today. Don't forget to like, comment, and follow.