The Moment I knew i was never safe.

Waking up from bad dream.

I couldn't sleep. Just being in that cold place had covered my mind with the thought of being hunted again. Jack was holding me tight is his arms even when he was sleeping, I wish I could make him smile all the time. I slipped on to my side and rubbed my thumb a crossed his bottom lip. He could of lost me in just one day. I climbed out of jacks arms and the bed and went to the roof. I sat there in the dark looking up at the sky. The sky is it self and will never change. It has feelings. When its mad it storms. When its sad it rains. When its happy its clear. Everyone think has emotions its just they don't like to show it or to tell anyone because they don't want to hurt other people because they have been hurt like that before. That's me. I don't want to hurt anyone because I know what it feels like to be nothing, to be someone's play toy, to be pushed around. But most of all I know what its like to be afraid or everything like its coming to get you and hurt you all over again. So you don't open up to anyone, you hide and never want to come out. The real you is hidden save somewhere in you but you make sure that you will never get hurt like that again. That's how I feel right now. But safer than I was. I can feel my heart beating in my chest and my eyes searched the sky for answers that I will never get. I slide to the edge of the roof and looked down into the darkness thinking that someone could be looking right up at me, waiting for me to fall. But when you really think about it your alone. Everyone leaves you at on point and all you have ever did for then was worth nothing, all the trying to help  and letting them know you care about them and love them in some type of way And then they leave. So why did they stay or even say hi in the first place? I looked over the edge one more time and someone was looking right in my eyes like they know who I really was what my weakness was and that scared me, Jack doesn't even know my weakness. Who could this be? Green and golden brown eyes. That looked like my older brothers. My older brother.... he left me he cant be here. He reached his hand up to me and tried to grab my throat. I tried to back away but he was to fast, how could his hand even reach this far. He grabbed my neck and pulled me close to his face. His eyes where now black and clod as ice, it was like he was looking right throw me.

"Dad will get you, stop trying to run."

"NNNNOOOO! LET ME GO! Brother please im begging you."

"NO you let me and dad! You left your family!"
"I didn't leave you did. you told me you were leaving and you weren't coming back. You left me with dad. He beat me and you left telling be you were sorry. well I still well never forgive you for leaving me. You promised me that you wouldn't leave but look at me now. Scared up and broken because you left me with him."
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

I couldn't breath...
"LEX! WAKE UP LEX!"
I open my eyes to see Jack panicking. Shacking me to...... wake up??? It was a dream? I don't understand. How did I fall asleep on the roof?  It was light out now and really hot. It felt so real. Jack hugged me.
"What the hell Lex"
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking about what I was doing."
"You need to think about what your doing. What if your dad got you. I wouldn't be able to find you and I would go crazy. Just be careful Okay?"
"Okay! Can I get up now?"
"OH.... Sorry"
"Your good."
I got up and we went back inside to get something to eat but I wasn't hungry so he ate and I didn't. He got mad but I really wasn't hungry! So I don't really know what to say. It just hurts to know he cares but you cant answer to the "Be careful" because you cant be careful, that's just not who you are. You just cant follow that one simple rule. It hurts them and you because you know it hurts them and you don't want to hurt them. But you really don't have a choose in there eyes. You follow there rules or they get mad at you, If you try to fight back, they get mad. If you try to do anything to help you they get mad because you follow there rules or you out. Why cant we just be us? I know he wants what's best for me but I want to be me too, I don't want to be afraid of everything because of what happened, I want to run free in the woods with out having to be watched to no one could hurt me. So I could sit in the dark and feel safe with no one else around... but I cant do that. 
"Earth to Lex"

 
"Hu Sorry"

"What's going to Lex? You have been acting weird and I'm worried about it."
"Look I'm okay, just  a little jumpy. I'm Fine I promise"

"Okay, I'll  let it go."
"Look me in the eyes Jack. What do you see?"
"Fear"
"Yeah"
"Lex I'm sorry. I should of been more careful. I should of never let you run out to him, He looked to hurt and it was all a trick, to let me take my eyes off you and let you do that and I'm sorry"
"Jack stop, I was stupid for running out to him! I should know better but look I did it anyway. But I guess that's because I'm me right."
"I should have never took my eyes off you. You knew something bad was going to happen but I didn't listen and he got you."

"Its not your fault. Its no ones. "
"Look me in the eyes and tell me that then"
"Its not your fault"
"Fine"
"Why are you so mad? Its not like I'm dead."
"You Could be dead right now If you didn't get away. I want to kill him. If he ever touches you again, I swear!"
"Jack calm down I'm okay right? So everything will be okay"
"Okay"
"You should come lay on the couch with me and watch a scary movie"
"Sounds like fun!"

I turned on children of the corn and we watched it, while he held me in his arms. He fell asleep.