monophobia || h.s

fifteen.

The day slowly ticked by, Harry and Melody not exchanging any words throughout the rest of it. Well, technically it was only because Melody was trying to avoid the topic at hand. But Harry on the other hand wanted nothing more than to talk to her.

So when it was six in the evening and Melody hadn't shown up at his apartment yet, he wasn't confused, he figured she went out to dinner with her friends. In attempt to avoid him of course.

Then it was eight-thirty. Harry still wasn't wondering where she was, he knew she was still with her friends. She wouldn't be back until eleven most likely. But then again, that was before they started talking because since that first night they shared a bed, well now she never really stayed out much.

In fact she never stayed out at all. It was like the Melody he knew of had completely changed to the Melody he knows. It was like she was a different person and Harry wasn't sure if it was because he didn't know her at all before they talked or if it was because she changed.

He did know for sure she had changed for the better. The bags under her eyes she always covered up with concealer were disappearing. Her smile was appearing more and more at any hour of the day. She just seemed more herself than ever. Like she wasn't constantly suffocating in her own stress and worries, like she could finally take a deep breath. It was a beautiful thing to see.

But when his clock read two in the morning and he had finished all of his assignments and there was still no sign of Melody, he was confused. And slightly concerned.

He was concerned because how she was acting this morning. There was no information given to him on why she was acting the way she was. He had no clue if it was something he had done, why she had so suddenly distanced herself from him. Because he really, really didn't want that.

So when the next time he checked his clock and it said 4 a.m, he was sure Melody wasn't going to show up. Maybe he should show up at her apartment? No, that was ridiculous. She might not even be home.

It was too late though to go through with decision of not showing up at her apartment, he was already half way out of his door.

In less than three seconds he was standing in front of her door. So he lifted his hand to ever so lightly knock on it he wasn't sure if she even heard it.

Seconds passed by that turned into a collection of moments with no answer. Really he should have taken this as a sign that she wasn't home, but he just knew she was there.

"Melody, I know you're there." He said softly, but loud enough so she could hear.

Only a couple of seconds passed before he heard the locks on her door unlock and her door open to show a tired looking Melody.

She had disheveled hair, and and a tired look on her face, even though it was clear she hadn't gotten any sleep. More just looked like she had been trying to but without no luck. She just looked at him confused on why he was there. But she thankfully didn't shut the door on him or anything like he thought she might.

"Why are you here, Harry?" She said in a quiet, tired voice.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" He replied, his voice matching her quiet pitch.

She just looked down, and moved her feet around. After moments she only shrugged.

"Why didn't you show up tonight?"

Again she just shrugged. Either having no real answer or not wanting to share her real answer.

"Can I come in?"

Instead of shrugging (thankfully), after a few moments she stepped aside so he could walk in. Her eyes still wouldn't meet his, like if he looked into them she would just crumble.

They went to sit on her couch, both on either end instead of being close how they usually are. There was tension in the air that Harry had no idea was there for. Melody knew why, but he just needed to get her to tell him.

Seconds turned into minutes as they just sat there. Usually whenever they were in the presence of the other, it felt like the whole room had been wrapped in a blanket of warmth and happiness. But this is not what it usually felt like, it felt like the blanket had been striped and left them and the room cold.

Harry absolutely hated it.

"Melody can you please talk to me?" He asked in a pleading tone.

"What do you want me to say?" Melody said, her eyes finally meeting his.

Now that they were making eye contact something finally felt normal.

"Just tell me what you were thinking this morning." Melody looked down again. "Please." He sounded desperate.

Nothing.

"Melody, c'mon, my life doesn't feel the same without you talking to me in it. I just want to know what's wrong so that I can fix it. Please." She looked back up at him.

"Where do I start?" Her tone sounded sad, confused, broken, tired. But he just looked at her, waiting for her to continue because he didn't know where she should start any better than she did.

"So, my whole life anytime I'm happy, like really really happy it doesn't last for a very long," that right there was enough to break Harry's heart because he believed that Melody deserved the best world has to offer. "so like, maybe when I was a mid teen, I just learned to put a limit on what makes me happy. Let it make me happy for a certain amount of time before I distanced myself from it. I always have a plan for it too, but it always ends up leaving me before I leave it."

The fact that Melody was telling him this all so nonchalantly, like she was telling him as simple of a fact like her childhood dogs name, basically tore his heart from his chest.

"So when I met you, I didn't expect us to be where we are. And, Harry, you make me happy, so happy. So this morning after we kissed and everything, I knew that, like, if I met myself get too close, it would all end before I'm ready for it. So naturally, I distanced myself from you. Yeah, that's it."

Somehow during that whole conversation, both had shifter closer and closer to each other that they were now only less than a foot apart. But even the few inches were too far for Harry so he reduced the inches to zero.

After a long stretch of silence, he finally found the right words to say.

"Well whenever I find something that makes me happy, I tend to stay close to it, and Melody you make me so, so happy."