Things Change (AchievementHunter)

Broken

I stood there frozen for a while. That wasn't exactly something I was expecting. Him doing that made sense though, we have known each other for so long yet I haven't told him a thing about me no matter how many times he asked me, and he was always patient and normally dropped it and stopped asking me questions as soon as he noticed that I was uncomfortable. What made him snap?

I turned and looked back into the mirror. Jet black wet hair clung to my forehead and the side of my face; my arm was covered in red lines from my nails, my eyes were bloodshot and my face was red from crying so much, I was a mess. I couldn't stand the monster staring back at me in the mirror. I started to tremble as I clenched my fists. I threw a hard punch into the mirror, causing the glass to instantly break. I felt so numb, the glass had cut up my knuckles but I felt no pain. A few drops of blood fell to the hardwood floor as I stared into the broken mirror. Now my reflection actually, well, reflected who I am; broken, cracked, worthless. No one wants a broken mirror, and no one wants a broken person.

To everyone around me I was nothing but a burden. I meant nothing. My life was nothing of value. Every part of my life has been a struggle, nothing good seems to last. I somehow managed to drive away the only person that I had left. Staying here wasn't an option anymore, I couldn't bare to be a problem anymore. Everyone here was perfectly fine before I showed up. Now they've had to waste supplies, time, and energy on me. They've showed me nothing but kindness and what had I done? Sure I saved Ryan but that was only because I got him into that situation anyways.

Everyone here is connected, they're all basically family. I'm nothing but an outsider. I'm only here because of Michael, no one else wants me here and I can tell. Who I am, what I am... It's terrifying. Not only the part about me being a monster but also the fact that I'm such a mess. Where ever I go I bring nothing but trouble.

I can't stay here.

My fist was still resting on the mirror, broken glass dug into my hand and there was a small puddle of blood on the floor now. I pulled my hand away and a few pieces of glass fell to the floor. The pain almost felt relaxing. I wanted to destroy this terrible body more. This monster that I am deserves to be destroyed; to feel pain.

I picked up a shard of glass and stared at it in my hand for a moment. I held it tightly, so tight that my hand began to bleed because of its shark edges. I took a shaky breath before holding it to my wrist. Just as I was about to drag it across Gavin walked in.

"Hey Nat what's wrong with-" he froze as he saw what I mess I was. He ran over to me and forced the glass out of my hand. "Wot the hell are you doing!?" His voice was raised and filled with panic. He threw the glass to the side and held my hand gently. His green eyes were wide as he scanned my destroyed hand. My knuckles were torn and had glass in them. The palm of my hand had two large, semi-deep cuts. I wanted to run away from here right now but I knew I couldn't without Jack fixing my hand first. I really didn't want to make him waste more time with me but my hand was seriously hurt.

He offered me a worried look, his eyes were begging for an explanation. I didn't know what to say. My gaze fell to the floor.

"Did something happen between you and Michael?" He said with a soft voice. I simply shrugged and continued to stare down at my feet. He let go of my hand for a moment and grabbed the first thing he could find to wrap my hand with, which happened to be one of Michaels shirts.

His hand gently took mine again and he tightly wrapped my hand. "Come on, we need to go see jack, you're hand looks really bad."

I looked at him and smirked slightly. "Gee, ya think?" I said sarcastically. It wasn't uncommon for me to try to hide how I felt with jokes or sarcasm.

He didn't seem to find it so funny though. He let go of my hurt hand and grabbed into my other hand. He squeezed it gently before leading me out of the house. He brought me into jacks house. Jack was sitting on his bead reading a book, he instantly looked up when we entered. Gavin was in such a rush and panic that he didn't even bother to knock.

Jacks eyes scanned me and gavin before he quickly got up and walked over to us. "What happened?" He said quickly as he took my hand to examine it. Jack lead me to his desk and had me take a seat before he unwrapped my hand. I didn't reply to his question so he looked at Gavin for answers.

Gavin shrugged. "I don't know." He said with a shaky voice, his accent was heavy. "I walked inside to ask why Michael was so upset and she was like this with the mirror broken.

I was grateful that he left out the part about me trying to hurt myself. Judging by the look on Jacks face though, he knew there was more to the story. Luckily, he didn't ask any questions and began removing the glass from my hand.

He had to be carful so it took a while, once he was done he stitched up my hand. He wrapped my hand, as well as my arm, up.

Jack offered a small friendly smile. "You should get some rest, you look exhausted." He examined my face and body quickly. I knew I still looked like a mess, I could still feel myself shaking. He placed his hand on my shoulder. "Maybe stay at Gavin's tonight, okay?" I didn't want to, but I agreed. He was extremely worried and I could tell. I didn't want him to stress about me any more than he already has. All I could do was nod before standing up.

"Thank you." I said softly with a hoarse voice. My throat hurt from crying so much. Without hesitation I quickly walked out of his house. Jack and Gavin both exchanged concerned looked before Gavin ran out after me.