Illicit [Harry Styles]

Chapter 56

Harry sat opposite me in the common room the following day. Both of us tried to act naturally but kept sneaking glances at each other. Every time his eyes would catch mine I'd feel the fire in my face ignite and I'd tear my gaze away as quickly as I could. Even when I was trying to listen in on the conversation around me I was aware of him, I could sense him, I could feel him watching me.

Despite the somewhat dreadful hour of sitting in each other's company, I couldn't pluck up the courage to speak to him. I so desperately wanted to know whether it had been him in the ER that night but I couldn't bring myself to say even a single word to him for some reason. We weren't even on bad terms now, but I just felt embarrassed. We weren't that comfortable around each other currently.

The way he'd sit there just openly staring at me, almost like he was worried and looking out for me, made my stomach flutter. He knew that every time my eyes happened to cast in his direction I was actually looking at him, but he seemed to welcome it. His face was giving nothing away, a blank expression with a hard edge to it only told me that he was probably thinking hard about something.

That evening I packed a bag and walked to Mckenzie's house. The array of pinks and purples that coloured the sky reminded me all too much of Harry - every sunset did. I still hadn't seen Niall, not properly at least, which was the reason I was taking it upon myself to go by foot to my friend's house. I'd caught sight of him briefly in the corridors at school the past two days, but he never came home. I hadn't even bothered to ask my mum if he'd told her anything, I just didn't possess the effort anymore.

Unlike me, Mckenzie had gotten changed having come home from school. I didn't bother, it's not like we had a uniform so I was in my own clothes anyway. She answered the door wearing an inviting smile, probably assuming I was still feeling slightly negatively towards her, but I wasn't. I'd decided to let everything go and just move on, dwelling on bad memories never seemed to do me any good.

We plonked ourselves down on the sofa in front of the TV with snacks and homemade cocktails, just chatting and chilling out. She would constantly be typing away on her phone, but I ignored it, being used to the fact she was glued to her screen twenty-four seven by now.

"So, have you spoken to Louis?" I brought up, hoping it wasn't too sore of a subject that'd kill this happy vibe we had going on. I eyed her, testing for a reaction.

"Not since I told him - well, all of you - that I was done the other night," she said casually, sipping on her glass of the fruity concoction we'd mixed together with her line of vision directed at the television.

"Are you planning on doing so?"

She shrugged her shoulders without a care, clearly not entirely bothered about fixing things with him. "What about you and Harry?"

"We're... I don't know. He's being so considerate and bashful ever since what happened and I guess I don't know how to handle it. I'm completely lost with what to do anymore," I sighed. "Has finding out that the two of them have a bad past changed anything for you?"

"It's kind of made me think differently about them, like I'm a bit more wary, but overall... not really. I was mad that I didn't know about it, but... everyone's done things they're not proud of, I think it's now that really matters."

She always comes out with this really deep stuff and I don't know if she's aware she does it. Some of the best advice I've ever received would probably be from Mckenzie, despite the fact she comes off as this really carefree and reckless person. I suppose she just has a lot of opinions that she keeps bottled up.

Her phone pinged for the hundredth time this evening and she looked intently at the screen before lifting her head to look at me. "My friend Callum is having a little get together tonight and wanted to know if we fancied going. What do you think?"