Betrayed

Part 8- How had he been so blind?

Kyungsoo pounded on the door, screaming your name, as tears rolled down his cheeks, and dripped off his chin onto his shirt, but no matter how many times he called your name, you didn't respond.

Kyungsoo was desperate, his mind running through all the possible worst case scenarios, as his knuckles continuously banged on the locked door. He screamed your name, he begged you to open the door, but there was no movement from the other side.

The water continued to flood the hallway, as it seeped from underneath the door. He could hear his feet splash against it, as he moved outside the door, pacing. He didn't know what to do, he was desperate. He raked his hands through his hair, as his breathing became more troubled.

He let out a desperate yell, and without thinking about what he was doing, he kicked the door open. The door flung harshly, and bounced off the wall slightly. Kyungsoo ran inside faster than he had ever run before, his heart felt like it was stuck in his throat.

And then his whole world collapsed, as he took in the image of your body, beneath the overflowing water in the bathtub. He sprinted towards you, and pulled your limp body from under the water. Tears were now blurring his eyesight, but he had to stay strong, he couldn't let himself be defeated like that.

He stuck two fingers to your neck, and felt for a pulse. There was one, a very faint one, but at least, you weren't dead. Or at least he thought so. He knew he didn't have much time left, so he pulled out his phone from his pocket, and called for an ambulance. Perhaps it was the panic in his voice, or the desperate need with which he cried for help, but the lady on the other side of the line felt sorry for him, and immediately sent an ambulance to the address he had given.

Kyungsoo placed a towel on the floor, before beginning to do CPR on you. He pumped at your heart with his fists, and then breathing into your mouth, giving you the kiss of life. A part of him regretted this being the first time he would have his lips on yours, it was definitely not what he had imagined.

"Come on Y/N... Don't leave me like this..." He whispered to you, as his hands continued to work on you, trying to get you to breathe again. You weren't coughing up the water in your lungs, and that worried him greatly.

He continued to work, as the paramedics kicked the door to his apartment open, and ran into the flooding room, he continued to pump your heart, and give you air, until the men took you away from him, placing you on a stretcher, while they continued what Kyungsoo had started.

He was your emergency contact, so they allowed him to ride on the ambulance with them, as long as he promised not to get in their way. So he moved to one side, and held your hand, crying to himself. You felt cold, and he swore you were beginning to turn blue, but he couldn't bring himself to admit, that perhaps he had lost you.

The hospital wasn't too far away, so they rushed you inside, and politely asked Kyungsoo to wait outside, in the patient's waiting room. Kyungsoo sat on a chair, with his head in his hands, as he tried to focus on breathing. If they hadn't come out with news, it was good, it meant that nothing bad had happened yet.

The image of you, limp and pale in the bathbub flashed across his mind, and he knew it would be an image that would haunt him for the rest of his life, regardless of the outcome.

How had he been so blind? How had he not seen the pain you were holding inside? He saw you every day, and yet he was unable to see the agony that hid behind your smile. He had been such a fool, to think it would be safe to leave you alone like that after having come to him so distressed about something. He was so stupid.

But what hurt the most, was knowing that despite his affections, and all the love he showered you with, he didn't seem to be good enough. You showed him that by attempting to kill yourself, choosing to leave him just like that, as if it was an easy choice, when he would give his soul over to just be able to spend one more moment with you.

He kept hearing the sound of your laughter in his head, the way his name sounded just that little bit better when you said it, he imagined you smiling at him once again, after having tried a new meal he had prepared, or the way you woke him up when he had overslept, by shaking him slightly, and trying not to look at his bare chest, with a blush tinting your cheeks.

He waited, in that room, but he had no idea how long he had been there. If you'd asked him, he would have told you an eternity, because that's how it felt. Any time spent with you dragged ever so slowly, and his anxious state was obviously not helping.

But when a doctor came out, with his perfect poker face, Kyungsoo felt himself nearing an edge, and depending on what news the man brought, he was either going to jump, or roll back to safety. He stared up at the man in the white coat with pleading eyes, he felt himself shaking, as his hands fidgeted with each other.

"She's awake now. You can come see her. She's weak, but you got there just in time. You did a good job young man, your CPR bought us vital seconds. You probably saved her life." The doctor told him, with a small smile, as he patted the young man's back, and watched his excitement grow. And he wondered, if the two were a couple, or how the hell they got to where they were now, but he was a professional, and it wasn't correct to ask.

Kyungsoo walked into the room gingerly, practically on his tiptoes, and he stopped in his tracks the moment he noticed your eyes on him. You looked exhausted, disheveled, and weak, but you were alive, and you were smiling. The doctor exited the room, excusing himself before closing the door to give you both some privacy.

"Hey..." He whispered, looking down at his feet, as his cheeks flushed a deep red.

"Hey..." you croaked out, your voice still gruff from the water intake.

"Y/N... What happened?" Kyungsoo asked you with a saddened and pained expression on his face.

"I... I don't really know. I was getting my hair wet, when... When I just didn't want to come back up. I don't know what happened, but I gave up. I'm sorry Soo..." you apologized, thick, salty tears began rolling down your cheeks, as you bit your lip to restrain a sob.

"Why are you apologizing to me?" he asked you, getting closer to you, and sitting down on your bed. You looked at him, your forehead creasing with worry wrinkles. He gently wiped a tear away from your face, and smiled, to reassure you there was nothing for him to get mad at you for.

"Because I gave up. I disappointed you. I was happy, I was finally finding my own path, and then, I just... found myself at the bottom of a bathtub, not wanting to come up for air... I didn't even notice when I blacked out... But I heard your voice... I think I remember hearing your voice calling my name..." You told him, trying to remember the day's previous event.

"I was worried... Don't EVER do something like this to me again.. please... I don't think I could handle this again." Kyungsoo begged you, grabbing your hand and gently kissing your knuckles.

He didn't tell you though, that he had been the one to kick the door open, and pull you out of the water, forcing your heart to pump and giving you air. He didn't tell you he had saved your life, partially because he was too glad that you were safe and sound, but also because realization dawned on him, and he knew, he would never be quite enough, he would never be Sehun.