The Ghost's Diary 👻 ✓

11. Inner Thoughts

"Ugh... I wasn't able to get a wink of sleep!" I say as I struggle to get up.

I look into the full length mirror of my room and see dark circles under my eyes.

"I look like I went to a Halloween party as a monster!"

Maybe I am going mad, since I'm talking to myself.

I decide to go to the bathroom for a quick bath and change of clothes.

I open my closet so that I can get something to wear. My eyes travel towards a wooden box with a gold bluebell petal pattern on it.

What's this?

My curiousity forces me to reach for the box and open it. As soon as I remove the lid, I see...

My mum's old ballet shoes.

She used to wear these to her dance recitals in her teens. I remember something about Dad saying that she looked like a beautiful fairy dancing with those shoes and ballet costume.

I also used to ballet dance a few years ago but I can't bring myself to do it again. Though, I think that these shoes will fit me now.

I look again at the talcum powder pink shoes and remember what I lost.

Mum...

Before the nostalagia can take over me again, I shove the box under my bed and close its lid. I randomly pick a shirt, jacket and jeans and get into my attached bathroom.

I quickly bathe and turn towards downstairs so I can get something to eat. My hair is a bit puffy because of the hair dryer.

As I walk downstairs, I take one look at the attic.

I've never felt afraid of the attic. Even after all that has happened, I'm just not scared of it.

Eventhough all of this crap started after I opened its door with Dylan, but still...

As I enter the dining room, I see someone behind a large newspaper. And my breakfast laid out on the table.

"Good morning, sis. Looks like you had a very peaceful night." He points to the wall clock on his left. It's 10. 30 A. M.

By the voice I recognise the person to be none other than Dylan.

"Well, it is a Sunday. Normal teenagers are usually asleep at this time on weekends."

I say as I notice a certain normal person missing.

"Where's Ms Bragge?" I ask him.

"She's doing the dishes since I've already eaten."

I sit down in my seat and start eating. Soon afterwards, I'm done. Dylan puts his newspaper down as I start to get up.

I am on my feet and I pass near his seat since the door to out is at his side of the room.
He says,
"Didn't you sleep last night? You have circles under your eyes," he says as he gets off of his seat and I take a step backwards.

"No." Drop it.
My arms fold.

He rubs his chin.
"Lindsey, you know you can tell me anything. I'm your bro--"

I scoff loudly and say,
"Legal guardian. You've never been a brother.

He blinks. "Sorry?"

"I've already said what I wanted to."

Keep that mercury in the thermometre down. Keep it down.

"You know, I've always cared for you." He narrows his eyes at me and crosses both arms on his chest.

"What's going on?" Ms Bragge suddenly appears holding her hands on her hips.

"We're just talking, Ms Bragge. Nothing special," Dylan tells Ms Bragge so that he can avoid the conversation.

"Nothing special?" I ask him sarcastically

"Lindsey..."

"You know what? You've only shown me your face these past few days, otherwise I never saw you."

The mercury's gone rogue.

He moves his jaw but immediately closes it again, struggling to make an answer. I see this as an oppurtunity to speak my heart's inner thoughts.

"Seven years, brother, seven years. You never even came when I once, just once, called you. That was for the both of our birthdays!"

He blinks several times before hoarsely saying,
"Lindsey, you... you still remember that?"

"I have a very good memory, thank you very much."

He fervently shakes his head.
"I never meant to do that. I had work."

"Of course, you had," I say sarcastically. Lately, sarcasm has become like a second nature to me.

As I try to turn away from him. I suddenly hear him say,

"You know, it was hard for me too. Almost my entire family died on my birthday. I had to take over the family business at eighteen! I also had your responsibility on my shoulders. Don't act like I left you wandering in the streets."

"Well, thank you for your generousity. I guess you actually just cared about the rest of the family and not me. If you did, you wouldn't have just shut me out!

"I was just an eight year old who lost her parents and sister. I'm not saying that it was easy for you but I was just a bloody child!"

"That's enough! Both of you!" Ms Bragge says as to calm both of us down, which seems utterly impossible.

Still nothing seems to smack some semse into me.

"You disappearing left scars on me, something that may never heal! The worst part: those scars were on the soul, not the body. I needed you then, not now! I tried to forget all of that's happened, I really did, but I'm... just... human..."

I try to continue but I take a look at my brother. I have made my entire speech without any eye contact with him.

He just stands there. Looking at me with my the same green eyes as Dad's.

Before I soften up...
I run out of the house.

Hi everyone! New update's here:)

Music: You Don't Know-- Katelyn Tarver.
The song just reminds me of how everyone here is feeling like...

Hope you guys understand:)

And remember, suggestions and comments will 'always' be apreciated(also avoid weird typos). And votes are great too:)

Thank you so much for your continued support of TGD.

Love,
MS Zame;)