The urge to pick up a blade, and slice your wrist or thigh is always there. No matter what you do to try and get it out of your head.
I remember when I was a baby my dad (my actual dad) would play this song. This song calms me, and I can relax slightly but of course never fully.
Even at a young age I remember, I remember dancing around the living room, and singing my lungs out. I really miss him. I just...don't know anymore.
Life is so bundled up right now I could scream. I wish I was normal. I wish I wasn't depressed. I wish I wasn't a lot of things, but guess what?
This is me now.
The Cutter,
The Slut,
The Freak,
The Fat ass whore,
The Bitch,
Ugly,
Worthless,
The Attention seeker,
The Suicidal Freak.
I'm hurting badly, if you can't tell. I've been trying to not say anything because the 'attention seeker' I am. I guess I can't be normal for once.
"Never care for what they do,
Never care for what they know,
Cause I know."
"And Nothing Else Matters"
When I was a baby, dad would play this song, or even sing it to me, and I would sleep. I don't know what about that does it but it makes me feel safe, and my body relaxes almost instantly.
I could listen to this forever, because how much better it makes me feel better, I couldn't live without it.
The song is Nothing Else Matters By: Metallica
