Chapter 13

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Recap

"I missed us." He brought his lips to mine and I felt myself being placed on another world.

Another world where there's only him. Where the sweet kisses, the warm hugs, the laughs, the adventures into his world were all that ever existed.

But this is a mistake. He was never worth it in the first place. What am I doing?

I don't know if it was the tiny sober part of me that was screaming how wrong this moment was that brought me back to my senses and pushed him away. "No! Stop trying to get back into my life! Yes I know we were a thing before but everyone has moved on, the world has moved on, Derek, I have moved on. You bring bad choices into my life, you are a bad choice. I just-just leave me alone I just can't." I watched the hope in his eyes wash away after he processed what I said. I slipped out of his arms and walked away, without looking back with the fear of seeing a whole new kind of fury raging up inside him.

I didn't know what to do. I knew I needed to get out of this house before something happened but at the same time the thought quickly faded away before I could get myself to find Andrea. I found myself walking back to the kitchen and taking long swings of the bottle of vodka. The liquid slowly burned as it traveled down my throat but the feeling at the end was the same pleasure I got whenever I needed a sweet release. 

I watched the couple in front of me intensely making out with each other. But it seemed that they weren't doing it just because they were drunk or because they wanted to have some fun, they were doing it with a great passion from their hearts. I wonder if one day I'll be able to kiss someone with a great fury of passion and that feeling would never drift away. 

"Natalie I found you!" Matt walked over to me pleased with himself that he found me in the swarm of people. I shrugged and took another swing from the bottle. "Hey, hey slow down there." He lowered the bottle but as he studied me he hesitated and removed the bottle from my hands. "Noo Matt why did you take the bottle away from me? It's the only thing that's keeping me from not going insane right now, Maaaatt!" I whined reaching for the bottle again. 

"I think you need to take it slow, Natalie you don't look so well. You look like you've been crying." I lifted my hand to my cheek and I was certain I felt a warm trail of tears. "What? But I haven't been crying. What is going on, Matt?" He shook his head. "I think it's better off for you to go home, you're seriously wasted. Do you know where Andrea is so she take you home?" I shook my head. "I don't know where she is and I don't care because she ditches me all the time at parties so fuck her." I rolled my eyes and reached for the bottle again but Matt moved it out of reach.

"Okay then, I'll take you home." He started walking towards the door but as I tried to walk I couldn't maintain my balance. He picked me up and carried me to the car. As we drove back to my house I was giggling most of the ride but I was slightly concentrating on the radio which was playing softly. Then "Stitches" came on and I could feel my eyes widening as my jaw dropped and I looked over at Matt who had the same reaction. We both bursted out yelling out the lyrics to the song and Matt turned it up. 

At the end Matt sighed and lowered the volume. "Honestly I miss Shawn so much and I really want to see him again but he's so busy. He's getting so famous and it's incredible but I really do miss smacking him with things while he's sleeping." I smirked. "That was really cute and I really miss him too but damn he has gotten really hotter but like really hotter." He shook his head. "Tell me that when you're sober." 

We approached my house and Matt carried me in. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder. I liked Matt's scent, it reminded me of when fall came and you cozied up in warm blankets but it also had a sharp edge to it. He whispered to me, "Do you want me to take you up to your room, queen?" I smiled. "Yes please." 

He carried me up the stairs and laid me on my bed. "Let me go and get a quick glass of water, okay?" He said after taking off my shoes. I nodded and snuggled up in my blankets. He left for a short moment but came back with a glass of cold water. "Drink this and you'll thank me later in the morning." I took the glass in my hands and drank a small sip of it. Matt took it out of my hands and placed it on my nightstand. "I guess it's time for me to leave now but are you sure you want to sleep in that uncomfortable outfit?" He walked over to my closet and opened it.

"Oh no, can you pass me a sweatshirt and some shorts?" He nodded and picked out a maroon sweatshirt and a pair of black cotton shorts. But as I was changing under the sheets he went back into the closet and picked out a pair of black knee high socks and slipped them on me. "Just so you can be comfty." He said and tossed the clothes I took off in a basket inside my closet. As he was finally  closing the closet, Chris walked in and lifted an eyebrow at Matt.

"Matthew Espinosa?" He questioned looking at me and then looking at Matt then looking back at me. "The one and only." I mumbled against my pillow. "In the flesh." Matt smiled. "Sup man, it's great to finally get to meet you but why are you here?" I held back a laugh at how offensive that sounded. "Chris stop sugar coating it and get to the part where you just kick him out already." Matt laughed at my remark and Chris shook his head. "Me and Natalie are friends and I was at Cameron's party too so Natalie couldn't find Andrea and she was seriously wasted well honestly she still is so I volunteered as a tribute to take her home." I scoffed. "You so did not try to quote The Hunger Games, you suck." 

"I don't suck as much as you do. Anyways I was just leaving right now so nice meeting you Chris, bye Natalie I'll see you sometime and don't get wasted again." He waved and left. Chris walked over to my bed and sat down near my feet. "You'll tell me why you did all of this tomorrow?" I dozed off into a deep slumber before I got the chance to respond. 

_______________

New chapter! I feel like this is actually a kinda long chapter but I don't really know. Guy's should I keep on doing the 'Recap' thing? I got a little tired of doing it but I would like to know what you all think about it. 

HAVE YOU ALL HEARD 5SOS'S NEW ALBUM? It's lit. Af. 

My fav songs from it is Broken Home, Jet Black Heart (even though I heard it before the album even came out), and I kinda really like Safety Pin, and I really like all the other songs on the album so idk if those are even favs. 

cal is a babe.

oh and, EVERYONE GO AND PRE-ORDER SHAWN'S (shawn mendes, for some of you that don't know much about this lil cutie) ALBUM, HANDWRITTEN REVISITED!!! That album will be lit asf too, so go and pre-order it, if you haven't then idk what you're doing with your life man. 

So I'll be updating maybe in the middle of this week like on a tuesday or on wednesday because I really want to update on halloween and make like a little halloween chapter. I'm sorry if I update a halloween chapter and you don't celebrate halloween, you don't actually have to read it, you can just skip it :) . 

GET READY FOR THE NEXT UPDATE CAUSE IT'LL BE A LITTLE INTENSE TO ALL OF YOU SHIPPERS OUT THERE. 

(not really intense but it's cute)

- Natalie

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