When we were finally settled back onto the ground and off the Ferris Wheel, it was time we decided to go back home...
Home.
That's what I came to calling their house, because it felt right. It might not feel like it right now, but it's been more of a home to me than the one back in America. These boys have been more of a family to me than my original family, and I could not be anymore grateful.
My stomach felt queasy on the way back to the house, dreading for what's to come tomorrow. How am I supposed to tell them that I suddenly have to leave?
Maybe I shouldn't tell them.
I mean, I don't want them to worry about me, or to see them cry... Or they could try to hold me back, or try to tag along. No, I don't want them hurt. I'll just leave without another word; I'll just leave a detailed letter.
As we enter the living room, I stop in my tracks and take a deep breath. "Boys."
It was quite obvious that there were tears prickling in the corners of my eyes, which was why they all looked at me concerned (well, all except Michael, of course).
"What's wrong, Mia?" Luke asked, taking a step closer to me.
I sniffled, fighting so hard to hold back my tears. "I just had a great time at the amusement park... And I'm so grateful you're my best friends, my family. I dunno why I'm getting so emotional..."
"Aw, Mia!" Calum moved in and engulfed me in a comforting hug. "It's okay to get emotional every once in a while, it's what makes us human."
He pulled apart from me and Ashton took his place. "And we're grateful for you too, Mia."
After him was Luke, and even though I've been hugged by all three boys, I still felt incomplete; like something (or someone, rather) was missing. I sighed, reminiscing all of the beautiful, crazy memories I had with these boys.
I'll remember them forever.
I trudged my way back upstairs, and glanced at the door to Michael's room. I bite my bottom lip, and without thinking, I find myself knocking on his door in hopes that he would answer.
Surprisingly, he did. "What?" Michael asks with a bit of an attitude, yet his tone was also nonchalant.
I will always be confused by this multi hair colored boy, no matter the situation.
"I don't want to fight," I began, giving him full eye contact. "So I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen. You don't even have to reply."
He seemed reluctant of this, but he still continued to look at me expectedly, as if to say, "Let's get this over with."
I take one last deep breath. "What I did was wrong, I know. I will always feel like shit for lying to everyone, especially you. But what I did was for good intentions, Michael, and I want you to listen carefully.
"I like to define myself as a walking catastrophe; when I go down, it appears everyone does as well. I'm the eye of a fucking hurricane and all of you were the ships in the ocean, just waiting to be destroyed. I thought that if I didn't tell any of you about my problems... no one would get hurt. You wouldn't be in danger, and that everything would be fine.
"Slowly, my plan began to fall apart. You guys started figuring me out piece by piece, and now here we are. My stupid, selfish lying caused me to lose the best guy I ever had... I only guy I was ever in love with. And I'll regret it till the day I die, and beyond that.
"My home country, Michael, kind of counts on me. I have to protect them, whether you or the boys are by my side. I have to fight for what's right, I have to help them all live in peace or everything would end in disaster. I never wanted to guys to get hurt, I felt like keeping all my secrets and not involving you would protect you. But I guess the number one thing to protecting someone is to tell them why you're protecting them.
