You can shoot me twenty times in a row with a gun and it'd still hurt less than losing Michael Clifford. You can run me over with a train and it'd still hurt less than losing Michael Clifford. Hell, you can lock me in a room and burn it down and it'd still hurt less than losing Michael Clifford.
God, I am an idiot.
Why did I have to lie in the first place? Was I really protecting him, or any of them from keeping things they should've known in the first place? No, I wasn't - and I feel selfish for that.
"Mia... Are you okay?" Ashton says softly, giving me a sympathetic look that makes me feel more guilty than I already do.
"Of course she isn't, you dumb-fuck," Calum glares at Ashton. "She's crying, for God's sake."
What? I bring my hand up to my face, and sure enough, I could feel the wetness that stains my cheeks. I sniffle and take a deep breath, trying not to completely break down in front of the three boys.
"Aw, Mia," Luke sighs and walks towards me. "It's going to be fine. He'll understand if you give him time."
"Do you want me to go talk to him?" Ashton asked me. "I don't know where he went, but once I find him I'll explain everything."
I shake my head. "No, I'll go talk to him - even though I'm the last person he wants to see - since I know a place where he could be right now."
My voice was low and raspy, like I didn't want to speak at all. Frankly, all I want to do right now was sit in my room alone and cry for hours because I just hurt my one true love - but I know that wouldn't get me anywhere right now. I had to find Michael and try to fix things.
"Where?" Calum asks curiously.
"I can't tell," I say and grab my jacket and house key and run outside the door without another word.
The directions to Michael's hiding place was still fresh in my mind. I wasn't able to drive, since I didn't have a license here and I was currently too hysterical to get my hands on a wheel. So running will have to do, even though I'm probably the worst runner in the world.
Right now, I didn't care what was going on with Christine Furder and the Fangirls. My main focus was on Michael and Michael only; I wanted to give him space but at the same time, I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to make light of things, even though that won't justify the fact that I lied.
Soon, I spot Michael's car in the exact location where he had taken me a while ago. Clifford, I remembered we had called it. I want to smile at the memory but I'm too sad and too much in a hurry to do so.
I see him. He's sitting outside by the ledge, but not too close to fall over. Sobs erupt from his mouth every couple of seconds, and tears stream down his face. The sight itself breaks my heart, and nervously I take a few steps over to him.
"Michael?" I let myself whisper softly, feeling a little scared from the confrontation at the moment.
He jumps a little, startled at my presence. He looks over and once he realizes it's me, he scowls. My heart falls at that but I continue to walk closer to him, even though I could probably pass out at any moment.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Michael says harshly, and I flinched at his tone.
"I know you don't want to see me now," I said, cautious of my words, "but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Michael."
He narrows his eyes. "You fucking lied to me, Mia, all this time. I was too naive to realize it."
I close my eyes for a minute and reopen them. "I know."
