Come Inside the Mind of Jack - Things That Annoy Me

Driving...

Everyone should know by now that I hate taking public transport... and walking... Well I hate just about everything! Guess what? I hate driving as well. Now we just need hover-boards... Who am i kidding? I'd probably hate that as well. Here's why I hate driving!

1****

Tailgaters... These jerks really piss me off. Whenever I'm driving at the speed limit there is always one bastard driving extremely close behind. What's their problem? Can't they travel at the speed limit? Do they think that it's a game of Mario Kart and that if they drive close behind then they will get a boost? They always try to force me to drive faster than the actual speed limit itself. It's kind of like peer pressure I guess... but instead of it being a peer... it's an impatient bastard. Next time anyone does that to me, I'm going to drive way below the speed limit. Who's the slow one now!? That's right... Both of us.

2****

People who rev their engines... I hate being the first in line at the traffic lights mainly because of these idiots. They always roll down their window while looking at me like a pervert... Then they start revving their engine. What's wrong with these bastards? Do they think they're tough? Usually these guys have music blasted at full volume, mainly techno with extra bass. Who the hell do they think they are? Vin Diesel? These guys are usually wearing an extremely tight t-shirt with a cap...What is it with bastards and caps? They also have buzz-cuts and have huge arms. Do they really want to race? When the lights finally turn green they go at full speed, suffocating me with the smoke from their wheels. They must be lonely... Racing all by themselves. Aren't they doing all this to 'supposedly' impress the ladies? Do I look like a lady to them!?... I sure hope not.

3****

Really impatient people... These bastards are even more impatient than those tailgaters. These guys are another reason why I hate being the first in line at the traffic lights. When the lights turn green... they press the horn... It's alright if they press it when it's green and I don't move for a few seconds... but these bastards press it at the exact moment it turns green... What the hell? Give me a chance to bloody react! Do they think I'm the Flash? I can't move lightning fast. Why can't they just wait 2 seconds? Do their lives depend on it?  Next time anyone does this to me, I'm just going to wait there until it turns yellow. Then right before the light turns red I'm going to drive off instantly! HAHA now we'll see who gets honked at!

4****

Learning to drive... This is probably the most annoying one of all. If your parents or siblings are teaching you how to drive then be prepared... Prepared to get yelled at... A LOT! I got yelled at for everything... I got yelled at for not driving at the correct speed limit... I got yelled at for not checking my mirrors properly... I even got yelled at for running over a bunch of drug addicts... Just kidding, I only ran over one... Well I don't really blame my parents since I would be scared out of my mind too if my life depended on a person who has never driven before. They actually require you to drive for 120 hours before you can take the test... No deal! I forged my details after only 5 hours of driving. I don't think anyone on earth has actually done 120 hours before the test. But after all my hard work, I got the worst testing officer ever! She was one of those bitter, obese women who hated her life and job... She took it out on me by making me fail, she probably feels joy in other people's sorrow... I can see her laughing at me now... I probably deserved it though, for forging the details. The next time I did the test, I passed with flying colours... All thanks to bribes. By bribes i meant luck.

Thanks for reading everyone! Tell me what you think! I know a lot of you have never driven before but now you have something to look forward to... Drive safe!

Vote/Comment if you liked it! Be truthful. I don't cry easily.

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I didn't actually run over a drug addict, I almost did though... So don't track me down! I'm not guilty.