Come Inside the Mind of Jack - Things That Annoy Me

Facebook...

I'm out of the asylum! I'm back with more rants... Not that anybody cares but I'm going to rant anyway! This chapter is going to be about Facebook. I used to have a Facebook account but I deleted it because of all the annoying things that I had to deal with! I had 2 choices, strangle everyone who annoyed me on Facebook or deactivate my account. I chose the latter option because I injured my hand a few moments before my planned strangling. Please don't be offended if you do some of these. I'm clinically insane so you can't take anything I say seriously. So here are the things that really annoy me about Facebook(users).

1****

People who post stupid/ useless things in their status... I get this a lot. They usually say stupid stuff like "oh my gawd im sooo fat!" (They're extremely skinny), "i'm like totally going shopping with my bffs 2day at the mall to like totally buy designer brands with daddys credit card" Well that may have been a bit exaggerated but people really do post the stupidest things. They inform me when they're going to bed, they inform me when they're eating some snacks... This one time someone even informed me that they were going to the bathroom. What the hell is wrong with these guys!? The friend delete button is my new best friend!

2****

People who post "photos"... Don't get me wrong, I love looking at photos but these guys just take it too far! I have to deal with these bastards daily! I get extremely infuriated when I click on my home page and all I see are new photos of stuff that I do not want to see. I'd just like to point out that I put the word photos in quotation marks. Well there are too many types to put into this small paragraph so I will separate them.

A*****

Muscle bastards... I know I always complain about muscular bastards but it's because most of them are bloody jerks! It's not like I'm jealous of their tight pecs, powerful legs, bulging triceps... Their manly toned abs, beautiful silky smooth skin... Okay I have got to snap out of it! On to the point. I hate going on Facebook because of these guys. They have a million pictures of themselves in front of a mirror flexing their muscles with one arm while the other arm is holding the camera. Do they think that we care about how many push ups they could do? Do they think that we care what flavour protein shakes they drink? Whenever someone walks in on me when I am on Facebook I have to minimise the window because they'll think I'm a pervert for looking up topless guys. Well now that I think about it, I have seen more topless guys on Facebook than I have seen on the beach.What a life!

B****

Girls who do the same face in every picture... We all know this one girl who does the same face over and over again. I'm not talking about their typical smiling face, I mean the girls who do the kissing face... Some people call it the duck face. I don't really understand why girls do that.  Are they trying to look like Angelina Jolie? Do they think that all the guys who look at their pictures would kiss the screen? I have a better idea... They should make bruised faces since I'm more likely to punch the screen than kiss it.

Violence against females is wrong. I do not support it! Please don't hate me.

C****

Guys who post pictures of  cars... Why do guys do this? They're not a car so why are they posting car pictures? Unless they're a transformer then they have no excuse! Most of these guys who post these kind of pictures are extremely cocky and idiotic. I guess they're posting what they will never own. They should really post a picture of a brain. You don't see me posting a 10 million dollar cheque as my picture.

D****

Girls who post a thousand albums a day... I swear that these people spend most of their time taking photos. Guess what most of them say in the description? They say "I'm so ugly"... When I see those 3 words I have an extreme urge to slam my face onto the keyboard. That really brings my blood to a boil. If they think they're so damn ugly then why do they take so many pictures?! Why do they bother uploading them?! Are they trying to get a ton of compliments? You don't ever see Arnold Schwarzenegger posting a picture of himself with a description that says "I'm so weak".  One day I will make my own social networking site and when it detects that someone has said "I am so ugly" Then it will have an automated response. It will say "Yes you are!". That will surely put them in their place! 

Thank you kindly for reading! Please remember to vote/comment, I love it when people vote and comment! Tell me what you think... Be truthful! Fan as well if you want to! Then you can tell everyone that you fanned a random guy on Wattpad. Sorry for the long wait. It was probably not worth the wait though so I must apologise!