Inside Your Heaven

Chapter 14: Stand

A/N: It's been a long time, friends. And I'm so so sorry about that. Thank you all for being patient with me when I found time to write this chapter. Soooooooo, with that being said, here's an extra long chapter for all you wonderful people! XOXO

'Cause when push comes to shove you taste what you're made of. You might bend, 'til you break 'cause it's all you can take. On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong. Wipe your hands, shake it off. Then you stand." ~Rascal Flatts

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Kate Beckett was hunched over her high countertops in her Manhattan apartment endlessly studying the material for the detective exam later that day. It was still early, 8 a.m., she got up to get a few hours of studying in before she started her day.

Being back in the city meant that she needed to visit her dad and check in on him. After the way she left things, she was really dreading that confrontation. She wished that Rick was here to go with her, just for the moral support and the strong, sturdy arms that anchored her to the ground. The way Rick squeezed his way into her life was still beyond her. But, this thought didn't prevent the smile that formed on her lips. Rick's presence was something out of left field but it finally felt like she made that lucky catch.

She wanted so desperately to repack her bags and make the drive back to Rick. She needed to take her test; she needed to find the justice her mom deserved. But before that she needed to push Rick out of her mind, and see her father. It was going to be tough seeing him again, but if she didn't do it before her test she wouldn't be able to focus at all. But, with Rick ever present on her brain, focus was unlikely. Leaving the Hampton's the day before her exam gave her no other choice but to see her dad the morning of test. She needed to get it over with, and the longer she waited the more likely she would chicken out.

Now, with a one track mind on her father (or as one tracked as it could be) she hastily shut her book and made a dash out of her building. She paused on the sidewalk as she threw up her hand to signal for a taxi before she climbed in and it took off. No turning back now.

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She took a deep breath before she knocked her fist against her father's door. Her weight shifted from foot to foot and her mind was running wild. She didn't know what to expect and she couldn't push the horrible thoughts away. When there was no answer, her shaking fist knocked on his door again, a little louder this time.

What seemed like minutes later she her heard hard, stumbling footsteps on the other side of the door. The knob turned and her breath caught as she took in the sight before her. Standing there, in wrinkled, dirty clothes (probably days old), was Jim Beckett, reeking of alcohol.

Kate's heart plummeted to the ground and tears began to form in her eyes. She bit back the sob that was threatening at the back of her throat.

"Katie," Jim slurred, "you're home."

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kate shouted into his face. She shoved his shoulder to the side and stormed into the place she once called home. Her slight push had enough force to make Jim unbalanced and topple into the wall.

Furiously, Kate paced around the dining room table, picking up empty and full bottles alike. She began dumping the remaining liquids down the drain. Watching it swirl down the sink she felt herself losing control, spiraling down to oblivion.

"What in God's name do you think you're doing!?" Jim slurred. His palm was pressed against the scrape on the side of his forehead, right above his eyebrow. He reached forward to grasp the bottle but Kate pulled it away, and he wasn't able to touch it in his drunken state. "You have no right..." Jim started.