Inside Your Heaven

Chapter 21: I Just Can't Live a Lie

"Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me? And all the reasons that make loving you so easy. The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe. The way you know just what I mean. No, I can't learn to live without. Ohh, so don't you give up on us now." ~Carrie Underwood

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"Daddy?" Alexis asked at the breakfast table.

Castle looked up from his plate of food sitting on the table, his red and puffy eyes met his daughter's. A worried look crossed over her face and he knew right away that there was no way he could lie to her. "Daddy, what's wrong? Where's Kate?"

The only reason he was able to hold back the tears was because he didn't want his daughter to see him like that. He didn't want her to be more upset than she already would be. "She, um..." he struggled for words, "She's out," telling her the truth without telling her.

He should've known better, though. His more than observant daughter then asked, "Do you know where she went?"

Rick just blinded shook his head. "No. A friend, a hotel, back to the city. I have no idea."

"Did she leave?" she asked sadly.

"Yeah, Pumpkin, but it won't be forever," he said, trying to convince himself as well.

Alexis pushed her chair out from the table and made her way over to sit on her Dad's lap. She wrapped her small arms around his neck and nuzzled her nose into him. His strong arms comforted her as her tears began to fall.

The previous night flashed into her mind when she remembered what she'd said to Kate. Was that wrong of her to say? Did Kate leave because of her? Her tears strengthened and her body shook violently.

Castle squeezed her tighter and rubbed her back gently. "Shhhh," he whispered in her ear. "Talk to me, Pumpkin. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

Alexis was having a hard time getting any sort of words out. She was gasping for air.

"Breath, baby girl. It's okay," he soothed.

She gasped again, shaking as she tried to get air into her lungs. "D-d-d-did she leave, be- because of me?"

"Pumpkin, why would you be the reason Kate's not here?"

Alexis wasn't sure that it was the right thing to tell her Dad what she told Kate. She was confused about everything and now she thought that what she said was wrong. She didn't want to get into trouble and she didn't want him to be mad at her. She just shook her head against his shoulder.

He moved her away from his chest to be able to look at her tear-stained face. Her sobbing started to subside as he wiped the last tear from her cheek. "You don't have to tell me right now, Pumpkin. But, whatever's making you think that this is all your fault, know that you had nothing to do with it. You're the best thing that's ever happened to her," he smiled.

This eased Alexis' mind just enough for her to be able to smile. "Now," Castle picked her up and tickled her sides as he set her down on her chair, "finish your breakfast and we'll get this day started. Anything you want to do, I'm all for it," he feigned a smile for her daughter's sake.

As they finished the food on their plates, Rick contemplated telling her that Kate said that she would call Alexis soon. He decided that it was best to not tell her, in case she didn't call.

He had no appetite whatsoever, but he took the last bite of his omelet. Chewing slowly, he pushed all his thoughts of Kate out of his mind and tried to prepared himself for the day ahead.