Behind the Mask

Stress Release: Loneliness

I am almost alone in this world, it seems.

I am just a boy, an outsider to the rest of the world. I have seen over 50,000 people in my life. I know the names of 1,000. I am known to about 800. I greet 500 people regularly, at least once per week. I am friends with 250. I talk to 100 regularly. I am close friends with 50. About 40 people return that closeness. I have revealed secrets to 30. I contact 20 people regularly. 10 people know about the thoughts in my head. 5 are my best friends. And if I were to die tomorrow, I'd invite only 3 to my deathbed.

The world has over 7.3 billion people on it. I have seen 0.00000714285% of its population. I know the names of 0.00000142857143% of it. Only 0.00000114285714% recognize me as a legitimate person. I greet 0.000000714285714% regularly. I am friends with 0.000000357142857%. I talk to 0.000000142857143% people. I am close friends with 0.0000000714285714%. Only 0.0000000571428571% return the closeness. I contact 0.0000000428571429% each day. 0.00000002.85714286% know my darkest secrets. I am best friends with 0.000000007142857%. If I were to die, I'd invite 0.0000000042857143% to my death bed.

When reading both, which seems more lonely?

In the 7th Grade, I was the 1st perspective. The naive, energetic, optimistic, and stupid kid that believed that the world would someday appreciate his existence.

In the 8th Grade, I was the 2nd. Conserved, stressed, and pessimistic guy that realized his significance in the world.

At first, most people will say that the first perspective is the "right" one. And that the second was "wrong".

Whale, ya know what? Neither is wrong.

Being too optimistic is not good, and also is being suicidal. Feeling lonely is a fact, but also an opinion.

What's the point of this entry?

I honestly don't know. Just a way to explain a recent conversation with a friend....