Reject~A.F.I

Chapter Five ~ New Beginnings

I woke up the next day, my arms still aching from playing and my mind still a whirl of thoughts. Sure things were good for now but how long would it last, all good things must come to and end and knowing that sucked, I didn't want this happiness to fade away. I hadn't been this happy in a long time, and I didn't want to go back to that dark place, where I felt alone, pathetic and numb. My happy thoughts always end up polluted by these dark dangerous ones, I wanted nothing more than to be 'normal', to wake up happy, go to school and chat with my friends, then to come home happy and laugh the night away. But that's just not who I am. I'm not normal, I am me. And 'me' is a lost boy, just drifting through life without any real purpose or direction, like a feather being blown this way and that by the wind, it has no control over itself, nor is it's presence acknowledged by the masses.

A knock at my bedroom door snapped me out of my thoughts, "Come in." the door slowly opened to reveal my mum standing in the doorway, "Do you plan on getting ready for school today?" she chuckled "You've got half an hour to get ready, don't make me late! she called as she made her way back down stairs. I stood up stretching slowly, the bruises covering my ribs faded ever so slightly, and started getting ready. I was ready in 15 minutes so took the opportunity to browse YouTube, 'Hemmo1996 has uploaded a new video' I clicked on the new video, Fireflies by Ron Pope. I sat there and watched the blonde boy slouched in his desk chair plucking at the strings of his guitar, to my surprise he actually forgot the lyrics. Surely if you're going to upload a video to the internet and be taken seriously you'd make an effort to learn the lyrics, but I had to hand it to him. His voice was amazing, there was no denying it. I scrolled down as the video continued to play, he was gaining a bit of interest now, the video had a few thumbs up and even a few nice comments. I closed my laptop and strolled down the stairs, making my way to the kitchen where I poured a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

I was being rushed out of the house and bundled into the car by my mum who was now running slightly late after she couldn't find her phone - which was in fact in her pocket the whole time. We arrived at school within minutes, the car had barely stopped before I was jumping out. "I wont be finished till about 4, but I don't want you walking home so just wait at school until I pick you up, okay?" she yelled out of the window, "Yeah sure" I sighed dismissing her with a wave of my hand as I walked away from the car, "Ashton Fletcher Irwin. Promise me you wont walk home!" She yelled a bit more sternly, "Yes okay, I promise." I called back turning to face her, offering a reassuring smile. I was happy that she would be picking me up, but at the same time I don't want her to think that I can't look after myself.

The bell rang and I scurried off to my lesson, maths. I walked in with my head down and slumped down in my seat, instantly resting my head on my arms and getting comfortable. "Irwin, head off the desk." snapped my teacher. I slowly lifted up my head, sitting up properly in my chair before slouching back down once she turned away, resting my head on my hands as I stared out the window. I honestly can't stand maths, it's not that I'm bad at it, I just don't find it relevant to my life - when will I ever need to use trigonometry in my life? "Irwin, face the front." snapped my teacher once again, I lazily adjusted my body so I faced the front. My eyes stayed open facing the front, but my mind was wandering - I'm on a stage in front of thousands of people in a band with friends, actual friends. What I'd give to have a few actual friends. We're playing our own songs and people are singing our lyrics back to us, people actually came to see us, to support us - I'm suddenly snapped out of my dream by the she-devil standing at the front of the class, "Irwin, questions 3." I was now fully aware of the fact that I had no idea what she was talking about, "Um, its uh." I stuttered as I looked between the board and the sheet in front of me. "The reason you don't know the answer is because you weren't paying attention." she stated. I could hear snickering from people around me as the heat began to rise in my cheeks. I've never understood why teachers feel the need to belittle people, to target individuals and make them feel stupid, maybe it makes them feel better about themselves, all I know for sure is that teachers seem to make habit of targeting me and it sucked. After that embarrassing situation I made a conscious effort to pay attention, writing down notes when I was told to and solving the questions she wrote up on the board. Finally the lesson ended and I was able to leave that hellish room but only to enter another.