And The Sky Opened Up

Gerard's POV

'One year since she died. Oh my fucking god. I miss her so much. She didn't deserve to die. It should have been me. Not her. Stupid Cancer' I thought.

Someone was at the door,I thought as i heard the door bell ring.

It was Frank. "Hey man, listen, I know what today is, so i thought i'd come see how you were doing." he said.  He looked different. Lost weight? I couldn't tell. I hadn't really seen him since May, for Bandit's birthday. Then again, I hadn't really seen anyone since Bandit's birthday. Not even Bandit. I asked my mom to take her home with her. She reminds me of her mom too much. I can never focus. Lyn-Z died last October, and I had Bandit here until her birthday 3rd birthday. Wow, she's three and a half now. I started to feel guilty. It was going to be tough enough for her growing up without her mom, but her dad running away from her, wasn't helping. Frank looked around. I got nervous. Last night I drank for the first time since 2004. I hope Frank wouldn't see the empty beer bottles. Who the fuck was I kidding? Of course he would see them. They were kinda hard to miss.

"Gee..." Frank said, he sounded disappointed. I knew it was wrong. But i couldn't help it. "I'm sorry..." was all I managed to say.

'How long have you been drinking again..?" Frank said nervously

"Last night" i said

"well I'm glad I came today" he said as he started walking around and picking up the empties. And he drank the rest of the one I had been working on this morning. He headed to the kitchen and into the fridge, took the half empty case of beer out, and put it in his car and then came back inside.

"You know I'm helping you...right?" he said

"Yes. and I'm thankful" I said honestly.

"Well then you have to help me help you.." he said "Is there anymore in the house?"

I thought about it for a moment. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want him to take my booze.

"Yes there's more Frankie" I said with a sigh as I pointed to the spare room.

"You've been sleeping in the spare room?"

"...yes" I said.

"Whats wrong with the master bedroom?" he said

"I haven't slept in there since ..." I said.

"Oh shit man, I'm sorry. I didn't even think of that ..." he said

"It's fine, Frank." I said. 

"Listen buddy, wanna know my advice?" he said

"What?" I said

"Go get Bandit. She needs her father. And she'll give you a reason not to get smashed every single night. And you both need each other. " he said

I knew he was right. "I want to Frank. I really do. But I don't know what to do. I was on tour all the time and her mother would take care of her. I really have no idea what I'm doing!" I said.

"Gerard, you have tons of people around you who love you and Bandit so much. We all want to help. But she can't just keep staying at your moms...I'm a dad too! We'll all help you Gee. But hey! Why not hire a nanny to help you?" he said

"A nanny?" I said

"Yeah. Like she'd live here and help you with Bandit. Tons of people have them. Me and Jamia are thinking of getting one" he said

Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea i thought... "Okay, Frank, Lets go get Bandit." I said.