And The Sky Opened Up

Bye-Bye

-Frank-

Apparently fell asleep at the kitchen table. But when I woke up Sarah was gone.

One thing was bugging me. Did I like Sarah. Yes or no? I wanted to know, and I wanted to know now.

I had a plan.

So I texted her.

When you wake up, can you meet me in the barn? I want you to look at a bump on Missy's back. I don't know what it is. To be on the safe side I thought I'd get you to take a look at it. -Frankie

I wandered out to the barn and prayed that Missy actually had a bump on her.

Yes! She did!

A few minutes later Sarah replied to my text.

Hey Frankie, I'm sure it's nothing, but I'll take a look for you. Be out in 5.

Yes! Plan working so far.

I brushed Missy while I waited. It was creepy, cause the little ponies stared at me the whole time.

"Dr. Sarah has arrived!" she said as she came in the barn

Now's my chance I guess.

I walked over to Sarah, put my hands on either side of her face, and pressed my lips hard against hers.

She kissed back.

It wasn't what I thought it was going to be. No spark. No passion. It was like kissing my sister... Or mother. Or something.

I pulled away.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked

I didn't answer, not wanting to offend her.

With my lack of an answer, she tried to kiss me again.

"Sarah, stop" I said

"Why'd you kiss me if you didn't wanna continue?" she said, sounding hurt

"I was confused... I didn't know what I wanted... And I thought maybe I likeed you, but I wasn't sure.. So I figured I would know if I kissed you. And now I know.... I don't love you" I said

She backed away.

Now I felt bad. I guess she kinda liked me.

And then she just snapped out of it.

"I'm being silly. Just forget this ever happened and we'll go back to being close. Right?" she said

"yes!" I said as I hugged her.

Wow. One less thing I'm confused about.

And I knew I needed to cut back on drinking. Only one beer a day. And I was going to be strict about it. I'd tell Gerard to help me. He'd have my back.

And as for Jamia.... I think I need to just tell her myself about Gerard.

After about a month of fightinh with myself about it, i decided to tell her.

If she loves me, she'll understand and stay.

I decided i was going to tell her.

No turning back.

I went into the house, past everyone, and went into our room.

She wasnt there.

But there was a little black bag sticking out from below the bed. I pulled it out and looked in it. There was a syringe in it with a vile of clear liquid.

She was using?

This can't be right. She wouldn't .. Would she?

There was a note on the bedside table.

Frank.

I'm done. I just don't feel it anymore. I met someone who's taking care of me. He's a good guy. The twins will be fine without me. They like Alyssa better anyway.

Don't call. Don't try to find me.

Just leave me alone.

Jamia

She even left me her wedding ring.

I felt something snap in my brain.

I lost it. I let out a blood curdling scream.

Gerard was there first. He quickly looked between me and the paper and locked the bedroom door.

Everyone was banging on the door asking what happened. I just screamed fuck off.

Gerard was the only one that would really help me.

He took the paper from my shanking hands and read it.

"Frank...." he said

I got up off the floor and went into the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face. And something in the garbage caught my eye.

A pregnancy test.

It was positive.

I tried to remember the last time me and Jamia had sex... Three months ago?

I doubt it was mine.

So she's pregnant and using?

I flew to the toilet and threw up.

Gerard rubbed my back soothingly and got me a glass of water. He sat down on the bathroom floor and I crawled onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, and buried my face into his chest.

I let it all out.

I cried for what seemed like hours.

I finally fell asleep on Gerard.

A few hours later I awoke, but Gerard was still asleep. His shirt was soaking wet, from my crying.

His arms were wrapped tightly around me, pressing me hard against him.

I stretched my face up to his, and kissed him softly.

He woke up slowly.

"Frankie" he said

"She's gone" i said, being strong. No tears this time.

I was a strong person. I had people around me that loved me, and would be here for me. I didn't wanna stress them out by moping around for weeks. I had my cry, now I need to move on and accept that everything happens for a reason.