Before the night falls [n.h]

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I got home. Water and tears still streaming down my face. I went upstairs without trying to make any noise. I didn’t want to talk to them and give them explanations of where I was or why I was crying. I couldn’t tell them the truth. They don’t know I know Niall personally and they wouldn’t believe it anyway. ‘Yeah so since the nigh tout in Manchester where you girls weren’t conscious, there’s where I met Niall. He drove us home and then he slept in our guestroom. I then two days later saw him again and then we became friends, ouh and he also gave me a kiss’. Yeah, as my friends who were also directioners would believe that.

An important thing is that my plan needed to go on. If I don’t go out of my house for 2 week then I’m not going to see Niall for almost a year. As he’s going to be on tour in 2 weeks for 10 month. That's what he told me at Nando's. When we chatted there, I pretty much got to know everything about Niall. So as he about me...kinda. I didn't tell him everything, just the things you tell to someone when you first get to know each other. Friends, school, hobbies, favorite things, e.t.c...

I stopped at the middle of the stairs. I prayed and begged to god that Cara and Heather were already sleeping but I heard footsteps coming from their bedroom. Damn it. They came out of their bedroom and went straight to me.

“Where were you. We were so worried. Have you seen how late it is? It’s 1:24 fucking a.m and you didn’t even answer our calls. We thought it happened something serious, we...”. They stopped talking as they saw that I have been crying. I had mascara all over my dried face and my eyes were still a bit red from crying. My hair looked a mess and my clothes were all rumpled. I looked awful.

“Aww babe, what happened, we...”, Heather was interrupted by Cara who whispered something into her ear. “Okay Jess, we’re going to sleep. Sweet dreams, love”. Heather said then walked out of the hall to their bedroom with Cara. Cara, before walking into her bedroom, lightly smiled at me and then stepped into her room.

It looked like a worried fake smile. I didn’t like anything about that smile. I hated those smiles. I’m not a fragile baby who needs help. I know they are going to talk with me about this tomorrow. It’s obvious.

I went to my bedroom and I eventually fell asleep.

I didn't even care about the mascara all over my face but I still wiped it off with a facial make up remover as I didn't want my skin to be damaged. I could have regret that later. I didn't sleep with my pajama on. Uncomfortable but I really hadn't the strength to change clothes. Neither to walk, I was like crawling. My feelings were really fucked up at this stage

Why do boys let us girls like that. Niall isn’t even my boyfriend and I already have this many complications. How do girls with a boyfriend do? Seriously, it’s hard when you fall in love with someone.  

I woke up a couple of times in the night. It happened the opposite of what Heather said. I had nightmares, I hate those. I definitely didn’t sleep well this night. I woke up at 5:46 a.m. I really couldn’t drag to sleep again. I felt like shit. I couldn’t even walk straight. I lay down on the sofa and watched some cartoons. It’s the only thing I liked that was on besides of sexual stuff. Hours felt like minutes because I looked at the clock and it showed 11 a.m already.

I didn’t want to face Cara and Heather because I know they want to know what happened last night and I was not really in the mood to tell lies. They wouldn’t believe me if I would tell them the truth.

BUT I also didn’t want to go outside. I really didn’t feel like going somewhere. You might think it’s because I didn’t want to see Niall again. It’s not. Well yeah, I didn’t want to see Niall again. That’s true but that wasn’t the main reason I didn’t want to go outside. I just really didn’t have the strength to move somewhere and I didn’t want to cause people a bad mood because if you just look at me you could see there was something wrong. I  would only look down and my eyes looked like somebody hit me. They were surrounded with black as I didn’t sleep a thing. I didn’t want to face anyone like that.

Now what do? Lock myself up and be there until Cara and Heather would give up? Hide? Where? Cara and Heather know all the places of this apartment in their sleep.

If I go outside, where would I go? Where can I find a place without people? Without having to face anyone that I know?

 I couldn’t avoid both that’s for sure. It’s impossible. What was the thing I needed to avoid the most? My friends, Cara and Heather or the other people that would look at me like I was a poor thing and possibly my new ‘friend’ Niall? I wish I would die and sink on the ground, this is not an agreeable place to be right now. I really can’t decide.

What would you do or what could you do? Cause seriously now I don’t know. I’m stuck and I got to decide fast because Cara and Heather could wake up in any moment.

I slightly opened the front door and I tried to make as less noise as possible. When I turned around I’ve gotten an pleasant surprise. My mouth went slightly open. I couldn’t believe my eyes.