Carry On My Wayward Universe

Chapter 4

  Amy:

"Hey Sammy?" I ask, immediately regretting my choice of words as I sit down on a bar stool. "Yeah?" He asks, leaning on his elbows while he is across from me. "I'm sorry," I say quietly. "For what? You haven't done anything to apologize for," Sam says, seeming confused but still understanding at the same time. It's kind of bazaar. "For everything Dean has ever done. I've been there every time and I just feel really bad about everything he's done," I say, bringing up the show again. I'm on a roll!

"That's not something you should apologize for," Sam says, staring at me as if lost for words before we hear the giggles of my best friend come down the hallway. He automatically straightens up and clears his throat.

"Hey! No chains!" Dean laughs. His arm is thrown over Ashley's shoulder and I am happy for the fact that they hit it off so easily. "Hey a new girl!" Sam throws back, leaving the room. "Eat whatever you want, I'm going to go talk to Sam," Dean says, kissing Kylie's forehead and leaving the room. I jog to catch up with him. "Go sit down, I got this. I think," I say, tapping Dean on the shoulder. He nods at me but has a look of clear disbelief rewritten across his face. 

"Knock knock," I say outside Sam's door. "Come on in," Sam replies gruffly. "Mind some company?" I ask, putting my hands behind my back. "You don't have to ask," Sam sighs, moving over and making some room on his bed for me. I lie down beside him and look up at him. "What the hell was that?!" I ask, provoking laughter from the large man beside me. "That was me trying to not look at Ashley the way I want to," Sam says. Immediately my stomach drops and I swear my heart stops. "What?" I ask, feeling broken again. You know, being happy is wonderful. "Just testing the waters, seeing if you liked my like I like you," Sam says, sitting up and looking at me. I quickly wipe away tears that I didn't know were already on my face.

"That wasn't fun or funny," I say, laughing at how naive I am. I started trusting him the moment I met him, which is kind of ridiculous because he's got hazel eyes. Like his eyes can pick a color, how can I expect to trust him if I can't trust his eyes will be the same way they were the day before? Jesus, I sound like an awful Romedy. I suddenly have a very important need. "Sam I need clothes," I say, pulling the plaid shirt of his around me. "Clearly. I'll run to the store and pick you up a pair of jeans so that you can go back and actually shop," he says, grabbing his blue jacket. "Can you wear the green one?" I ask, remembering that green makes is eyes look amazing. With out question, he throws on the green one and walks out.

I'm eating my cereal at the famous map table and trying not to pass out from excitement when Sam comes back. "Hey," I say, standing up. "Hey," he says, handing me my bags and staring at me for a minute before walking away. "He almost kissed you," Ash says in my ear as I pass her. "No way," I say, going into my bedroom and quickly changing my pants. As I take off my shirt Sam walks into the room. I squeal and put my shirt over my bra. "Amy, what are those?" Sam ask, approaching me carefully. "I know they're small, you don't have to point it out, that a rude."

"I'm not talking about your rack Aim, what are these?" He asks, pointing at scars on my wrists. "That's also not okay to ask about," I say, leaving my wrists in his hands, not bothered by the fact that my quote on quote "rack" is exposed.

"Amy, who hurt you?" He asks, noticing the smaller yellowing bruises up my arms. "Also not okay to ask about," I say, stepping back and throwing the long sleeved t-shirt on. All of the sudden I crumble and crash, sitting on the bed and crying. "Please don't tell Ash," I weep as he sits beside me and holds me tightly. "It's okay, you're going to be okay," he says, rocking me back and forth. "I need to know who did this to you," he whispers, holding my hands. "The scars were me. The bruises, those were Tyler about two weeks ago when I went to see him," I whisper.

"I'm so sorry," Sam says, handing me a jacket. "Don't worry about it. It's been 10 years since the cutting. I'm okay now, or at least the doctors qualify me as okay," I say, running the back of my hand under my nose and then wiping away tears. "You are staying with me. I don't trust anyone else with you. I don't know if I trust myself with the task of not hurting you. Have you seen Ash and Dean lately?" "They are playing board games in Dean's room so the board game is most likely on the floor and they are most likely playing a different kind of game," I say, handing him the keys out of my jacket. 

"To the mall," he sighs, like he sounds so excited. "Yep. Here we go," I say, tying on the shoes he got me. "How'd you guess the size?" I ask him as we reach the door. "I asked Ash," he shrugs.