Carry On My Wayward Universe

Chapter 18

Amy:

"Ashley thinks that I am mad at her, which is so not the case I just didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable by waiting for her to ask the question that was undoubtedly on her mind," I say, checking my phone while we are sitting in the parking lot. "No big deal, she'll get over it," Sam laughs, taking my phone back out of my pocket and tucking it in his jacket. I raise my eyebrow and open my mouth to say something along the lines of "That's mine" or "Excuse me" when he opens the door to get out of the car. "So can I have my phone back?" I ask, coming around the front of the car to meet him. :"Um no. Ash warned me about your tolerance to alcohol or lack therefore of and I thought it would be a better idea for me to keep your phone," Sam says, taking my hand as we stride on in to the local bar.

I'm not actually sure how comfortable I am with how many people greet Sam by his first name when we sit down at the bar. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable being here, being a recovering alcoholic and all. This is one of the most dangerous and risky environments for me and people like me. I don't know why I even said we should come here. Apparently my distress is obvious because Sam quickly becomes concerned.

"Amy, are you alright?" he asks, patting my knee when I realized that I have been staring at the bar counter the whole time. "Can we get out of here?" I whisper, tears welling in my eyes. "Aww shoot did we make her uncomfortable?" one of Sam's older friends asks. "No, it's not that. Just AA would not be proud of my decision at the moment," I say under my breath. "We get it honey, Sam what the hell are you doing bringing a recovering alcoholic to a bar?! What the hell is wrong with you boy?" the same friend responds. "I swear to god, I had no idea of this before hand. She's had a few beers at the house. I thought this was okay," Sam says in a flustered rush as he is trying to help me into my jacket and find his keys at the same time. "It's different for everyone pal, she knows her limits," he responds again. Old people are sweet.

"Sam I'm sorry, I thought I could handle it. It's been like five years and I thought I could take being in a bar again. I didn't know that my brain would go haywire," I start apologizing as I put my seatbelt on and close my eyes. "Stop apologizing. I am so sorry," Sam says, taking my hand as we drive, trying to calm me down.: "You did nothing wrong. I was a highly functioning alcoholic until I got messy with how I disposed of the bottles. I was seventeen. Mom was dying and while I had faith in the good lord, I had some faith in Captain Jack as well," I say with a slight laugh. "You are one hell of a girl," he laughs. "You have to understand that there are things that I will be partial to telling you based on my past but in time, you will figure things out and I will tell you other things and yeah. Relationship things..." I say, trailing off on the end of my sentence.

"You already know everything about me," Sam says in a slightly disappointed manner. "I don't actually. They tend to focus more on Dean. So while I have seen the important things, I have no idea how you felt while going through those things," I explain, unbuckling and sliding over next to him on the bench seat in the car. "You look tired," he says with a smile as I lay my head on his shoulder. "I am, honestly. I am not always tired but most of the time I am," I say, cuddling under his arm. "You are just a very cuddly girl, aren't you?" I laugh, "Yeah, I guess."

"I don't know what to say," I say, pulling out my phone. "You don't have to say anything," Sam says quietly. "I feel like I should have something to say because Ash, she always has something to say to Dean or someone else and I don't know what to say or do, I've never been good at this whole, 'down-time' thing," I say, rambling in a very me manner. "I have the same problem Amy, just calm down. Relax in the passenger seat. I'll find a place to eat lunch and something for us to do,": Sam says with a sigh. He pats my knee as I move back over to lean my head against the window.

It feels like we've been driving for forever when Sam finally parks the car, right next to a Chevy Impala. Right next to Baby. In the back seat is a blue haired girl, bleeding from her chest and uh that's a problem. "ASh!" I scream, running out of the car to the back door of Baby. The door is locked and I can't get it open. "Goddamn it!" I scream, pulling on the handle. "Amy, calm down. Dean must be around here somewhere, just hold on," Sam says, pulling my hands away from the car. "I'm not going to calm down!" I yell as Dean comes back. "What are you guys even doing here?" Dean asks as he approaches the car, seeming a little to calm for my taste. "That isn't important. Why aren't you helping her?" I ask, still frantically trying to get the door open. "She's asleep. We just took down a coven. What do you mean help her?" Dean asks, throwing a bag of clean girl clothes into the passenger seat. "Oh my god, I thought she was dying," I say, calming down slightly. Not enough though because I have to quickly turn away from the boys to throw up in the woods, closer to the edge of the parking lot. :My stomach is still squeamy. I can't handle her hunting without me.