Save Your Life| l.t.

Chapter 18: Family and History

Okay so HQ audio of Made in the AM leaked, yes I have it. So if you want it message me your email, and I'll send you copies. On the other hand here's this chapter. It was hard to write because it's mainly a filler. I hope you enjoy!

TRIGGER WARNING: Description of a suicide attempt. Please if you need anything just message me. I don't want any of you feeling like this ever. So please just message me.

Anne POV

Niall looks at me and motions to the back room. I sigh and nod. Louis looks between us curiously.

"You okay?" he asks and I nod.

"Family stuff." I say and he nods. I squeeze his hand and walk to the back room. Niall closes, and locks the door, before sitting down across from me.

"Talk." He says. I breathe in heavily and my shoulders fall. I push my shrug off and Niall gasps seeing I did it again. "Anne..." He breathes out. He reaches for my arm and I pull it back.

"No touching." I say quietly. He nods but grabs my hand. Staring at my wrist he lets my hand fall.

"Why?" he asks. I breathe in looking for an answer.

"I..." I sigh and lean against the wall. "I don't know." I mumble. "I could, felt like shit, so I did." I say and he moves to sit next to me. He touches my wrist and I let him turn it over to examine the damage. He touches a scar that's dark and slightly puckered. It's long and runs from my elbow to my wrist.

"What happened here?" he asks. I turn my arm over.

"Do you want the real answer or the one I tell everyone?" I say and he sighs.

"Anne you said you'd talk to me." He pleads. I pull my arm close to me and run a thumb over the cuts. He pulls my hand away from my arm. "Please?" He asks. I look up at him and see the genuine concern in his eyes. I sit up and lean against the wall pulling my legs to myself.

"I... I had a lot go on last year and that's from when I tried to kill myself." I say. Niall grabs me roughly and I push at him but he holds on.

"What. The hell. Happened." He hisses out between grit teeth. I push at him again and he pushes me back. Not hard but enough to get the message across. He will find out.

"Niall please let me go." I say softly as I relax against his touch.

"Will you tell me?" He asks harshly. I shake my head.

"You're mad." I mumble. He sighs and lets me go and hugs me.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm furious something pushed you that far." He says. I lean my forehead on his collarbone and feel him hug me tightly.

"Can you tell me how?" He asks and I shrug.

"I don't know." I say quietly. He squeezes me tightly.

"Would you tell me a little bit? Please I just don't want you holding all this in." He says. I sigh and he rubs my back.

"I was angry about some things. And it had been going on for weeks, almost a month. I said screw it and stole an X-Acto knife blade from my dad, and that weekend they were all gone at a footy tourney with Nicole. I filled the tub up and put on music.... I think it was One Direction." I mumble and he hugs me hard.

"What song?" He asks. I suck in a breath.

"Little Things and Over Again." I say quietly. I suck in another breath getting scared. I don't like talking about this. I hate it. But I can't stop now. "I sat in the tub and I remember trailing the knife across one of the veins in my arm thinking I could finally get out of this hell hole. I took it and drew a quick and deep line from my elbow to my wrist." I feel Niall wipe away tears. "I knew right then it was too deep. I couldn't get it to stop. I called Elisa and told her to come drive me to the hospital. She did and she didn't ask any questions until after we left. I told them I had cut it on some debris in the woods. The Nurse didn't ask any questions. I paid for it out of pocket, because I didn't let them use anesthetic." I say. Niall holds me tightly. "I... wasn't done though. I really wanted to die that night. So I drank an entire bottle of vodka and took a handful of pills. I woke up the next morning though. I don't know why but I did." I say crying now. He shushes me and holds me rocking me back and forth quietly saying little things about how I need to not worry. I just cry. I hadn't told anyone about this so far, and now Niall knows. I wipe my eyes, knowing I'll have to wash my face and redo my makeup. I hear a knock on the door and Niall sighs.