To Rahman, With Love...

PART TWO, Recording His Blessings (1)

                               In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Peace and Blessings of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) be upon our beloved Prophet Muhammed (s.a.s), his blessed family and noble companions.

                                                                            -Aameen.

Recording His Blessings (1)

Would I ever be able to record all His Blessings? Of course never! (Such a silly question huh). Still, there's this unrest that has begun brewing inside me and I feel that I have to pen down the recent events. I don't keep a journal, so I turned here.

I began this work three years ago I guess. Everything I wrote here was solely to please Allaah Subhanahu wa ta'Ala alone. Even though I stopped posting TRWL, I never marked it complete, as I knew I would come back again one day, for there are times when I want to express in words the little stories stored in the memories of my soul... Or sometimes I simply want to share the awed beauty of Ar Rahman's Existence which my mind glimpses for a stunned fleeting moment when everything around me stops existing. Or perhaps it's the jealously guarded Love of His, deep within my throbbing heart, in a sudden burst of magnanimity, I yearn to share it with all... and not being such a communicative person, my thoughts turn towards writing them all down and writing them down, especially for Him, particularly to Him, with love, with all my Love.

I consider myself as a reader first and perhaps would always do so. Only the sweet people here on our Wattpad support me every single time and shower me with surprising bouts of love and appreciation, tagging me with titles of a writer etc Alhamdulillaah. To be honest, even my dear family doesn't take my writing seriously. They encourage and joke about it, but more often, they worry about my health (I sit to write during night to be free of any distractions from my daily chores etc etc). So yes to describe myself, I'm a voracious reader; give me even a hundred books with a free week, I would easily finish them all in shaa Allaah but ask me to write a new chapter of my ongoing book, then I would stare at you and wonder what I've ever deserved to be treated with such tyranny. Speaking of which, I know I have yet to begin the next chapter of IHL, for which all you have to do is sincerely ask Dua to Allaah SWT, for as I always say, it's He SWT alone Who makes me write that story, not I who write it.

So yea, even though I'm not a big fan of writing, I feel now very much wanting to pour some experiences that I'm cherishing deeply. For the past few months Alhamdulillaah so much has been happening here at home, in my life (at least I believe so). Or perhaps it's not that much, just a little this and a little that, yet so many various incidents all connected to the same amazing thread belonging to the intricate pattern of Ar Rahman's most beautiful Plans!

The complete breathtaking beauty of the Fate's tapestry woven by our Lord for us has not been fully revealed, maybe it wouldn't be until our death... yet there are the flashes of understanding that we gain at times and lucidly glimpse the wonderful meaning behind a particularly tough trial we've recently undergone -for indeed trials are blessings in disguise, though of course blessings are tests too, to see whether we excel and exalt our ranks by remembering Him SWT even during times of ease and happiness or whether we forget Him, thinking that we deserve all those gifts of His, and take them for granted without a murmur of gratitude.

And if there's something that I dislike intensely, then that's thanklessness to our Lord. So I want to express loads and tons of thanks to Thee ya Rahman, and I want to set free the grateful endearing images that my heart has captured these past months, everything that I've experienced by Thy Fazal... those sudden moments when I understood and smiled in amazement through tears at such tender care of Thee for us!

And that's how, I have begun writing here once again, Alhamdulillaah. For if there's something that I love most, then it's to speak (gush) about Allaah SWT, to listen about Him, to write about Him, about His Love. Alhamdulillaah!

Indeed Alhamdulillaah, for making us all His, though we don't deserve it a bit yet we can't help but be in utter need of it... where would we be without His Mercy? Can you even imagine living a moment without His Love? Without Him there for us to turn and shed tears and grumble about the unfairness of this dunya, or to gush in gratitude lifting our faces towards heavens, blowing kisses to Him during joy...! Indeed one can never be without Him, for then, we would become nothing indeed.

From Him, Through Him, By Him - is our existence. And even our end finally is - To Him.

So say O you beautiful servant of Ar Rahman, Shukran Katheeran Lillaahi wAlhamdulillaahi Rabbil 'Alameen!