To Rahman, With Love...

Ch-6 How many times can a heart break over?

                

                    In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Peace and Blessings of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) be upon our beloved Prophet Muhammed (s.a.s), his blessed family and noble companions.

                                                                        -Aameen                 

O Allah, You are the innermost desire of my heart,

Love of You is the deepest thought in my mind.

Whenever I glance at the world around me,

I find that today there was naught but You,

And that tomorrow holds naught but You!

 

Chapter Six

It was the look in her eyes, which made my heart break, and then there were the others too. At least Saji smiled though her eyes betrayed the truth while she blinked away the tears, but the others, all the eight girls just stood there looking at me as if they refused to believe what they had heard. And what can I do? Tell the professor that we hadn’t slept the whole yesterday night that we had been practicing the skit for the whole week? That we had put our every spare minute and thought in this project despite our thousand other works and that our group’s painting had been the very best compared to all?   

14 out of 20?! Just 14 out of 20 after so much hard work? There was of course the professor’s favourite group too who got 19 out of 20, yet everybody knew what their effort had been…am not complaining, I rarely do to Allah SWT but this had been different. If it had been only me who got such marks after doing my best, I would have somehow consoled myself by saying that this world is not worth running after and how much is ours by fate is what we will get… but that I cannot say to those almost heart broken girls who had been so eager and excited just yesterday. Instead, I said they were the best group in our whole class, whole college and that I was not worth to be their leader at all. And after all who needs marks from such a professor who has no taste at all! They feebly smiled for we all knew how important these marks were for they would be added in our semester exams.

And as I said before our group’s painting was the best compared to others and I tell so because I myself had painted it yet at that moment I wished I had put that time and effort in pleasing my Rahman Who though being the King of all kings never fails to appreciate what is done for His sake. And by Him I swear, though am not a good writer, I do know how to draw and paint par excellence Alhamdulillah, for it has been my gift from Allah SWT just like others have some other talent. Yet the professor looked at it only to criticize, not the painting though; she criticized the setting and scene and did not say a word about the painting (All groups had to select a different poem and a scene from it had to be painted). While the class ended and all the groups’ marks were again read, she looked at me for a moment and grudgingly added another one mark for being the only group to bring the poem alive in a skit too. So yes, that made what ‘15 out of 20’?  

Again I say it was not me I worried about, it was those girls who looked at me as if I could perform some miracle or something and change the marks which had entered the register. I looked at Saji who squeezed my hand before turning away. The bell had rung, by Ar Rahman’s Grace it had been the last class and everybody started moving outside. Still my group stood around me, Rahman knows expecting what… and looking at each girl’s face, my heart seemed to break afresh over and again. Smiling bravely and with an effort swallowing the lump in my throat, I again congratulated each girl separately and said to forget this thing completely and not to take it so much to heart.

It was only when Raziya or someone else started defending my painting that the tension really broke. Someone spat recalling the professor’s words in perfect imitation, some other talked about stealing the register, while I don't remember who suggested burning the whole registers bureau!  and some one else swore never to complete another project of this professor ever again! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry this time…how strange this life is and even strange are the ways of Ar Rahman. Yet His ways are most beautiful too, for soon there was a ‘Treat’ at our college canteen, and one looking at them now wouldn’t have recognized in the laughing, joking girls as my almost heart broken group earlier…and finally before going home as I did Musafa with them, Saji leaned close and whispered in my ear, “You know you are the best leader ever.” As I shook my head blushing, someone else shouted from behind, “We heard it too, Gudi you know you are the best l….”

“Would you guys shut up?!”

And much much later at home, after thanking loads to my Ar Rahman for blessing me with such fabulous friends and for blessing me for such a nice day (c’mon, It had a happy ending!) and for blessing us with such a professor (because she made us all more closer and happier despite those silly marks…) I let out a long content sigh as I closed my eyes and plugged in my earphones, switching on my iPod.. Soon divine recitation filled my heart, my mind making me forget today’s tears, heart breaks, joys and laughter. I forgot everything but Him. And my soul in His words was engulfed completely in Peace.

*****

A/N:)

So yes no matter how many times your heart breaks, never ever forget that Allah SWT is always there, just believe and trust Him completely, for He is enough to mend our broken hearts and battered souls, to soothe our fears and wipe our tears, to change our sighs into smiles…and remember only He can write twists and happy endings to your life stories where there was only despair and disappointments before.

And in trouble, don’t forget to say HasbiyAllahu La ilaaha illa Huwa alahi tawakkaltu wa huwa Rabbul ‘Arshil Azheem (“Allah is sufficient for me. None has the right to be worshipped but He! In Him alone I put my trust and He is the Lord of the Mighty Throne.”)

            With Duas and Salaam (Prayers and Peace),

                          abdurRahman (Gudi:))