death || rsl

8

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I stayed in hospital during the whole week. Every night, I fell asleep along with the sound of a guitar. When I woke up in the middle of the night, it was never an empty hospital room, because the soul was there. He was always there. He sat in the shadows and played a song that I decided was mine.

Every day, Leif came immediately after his football practice. We worked on his homework, and then we watched TV eating the food he and brought. Being with Leif made me smile. I loved every moment we spent together. Anyway, at night when the soul sat at my room and played the guitar for me, the music seemed to fill the empty places. I had a need for the soul that I didn't understand.
The last night I spent in the hospital, he added lyrics to my song;

The life I walk joining hands makes me take things I don't understand.

I walk this unknown dark world, forgetting the one I once knew, until you.

The life I walk eternally was everything I knew.
Nothing else held me back to this earth,
Until you.

I feel the pain in every heart I take
I feel the need to replace everything I ever hated.

The void that used to cause pain, to feel the hole
Doesn't control me anymore.

Thanks to you.

As I was slowly falling asleep, my heart suffered at the pain in his words. They were words I knew meant much more to him, that I could understand. The song that filled my nights, was deeper than I ever thought.

+++

Miranda ran towards me in the moment Leif opened the school's front door for me. The emotion in her face made her brown eyes acquire bright. I smiled, waiting for her to explain me the reason of her cheerful mood on a Monday morning.
Me coming back to school was obviously not the answer. She stopped and looked at Leif.

"Um, I'll see you around." Leif excused himself and headed to his locker.

"Alright, he's gone. Now, tell me what makes you so happy."

Miranda intertwined her arm with mine and approached my ear.

"Ross Lynch is here. In our school, our fucking school. Can you believe it? I mean, I thought he was homeschooled since his band got a hit and started touring all over the US. Can you believe he's here!? In our school?"

I couldn't help but smile at Miranda's emotion, even though I didn't know who Ross Lynch was. I've never heard about him or his band. I followed Miranda's stare, when my eyes met the soul.

I smiled at him knowing I should act like he wasn't there but I couldn't help myself.

I wanted to walk up to him and say something, but I couldn't in this room full of people. He nodded, like he was answering a question, but his eyes never left mine. A tensed smile replaced the satisfied one I've received before. Then, like in slow motion, he turned back to a blonde girl, by his side, laughing and holding a magazine and a sharpie for him to sign it.

I looked at them as if I was lost in some weird dream, how he smiled and nodded to the girl. He signed the magazine and handed it back to her. I heard Miranda say something next to me, but it seemed like she was miles away from me.

Something wasn't right.

I took a step forward, uncapable to look somewhere else but him. He smiled at me, with a grin that produced a perfect dimple. Suddenly, his smile looked like it was an apologise while, once again, he took something from a girl and signed it. I froze, trying to process what my eyes had just seen.