death || rsl

22

"Madison." Doctor Janice got into the room where Ronnie, Jess and I were playing monopoly.

"Yes ma'am?" I asked while she smiled to the girls and held some papers up in the air.

"It's time for your evaluation. Please come with me." I unfolded my legs and stood up, taking the opportunity to stretch since I've been siting on the floor for a while now.

"Oh shit, I really was enjoying playing with you, kid. They'll tell you you're not mentally ill and they'll send you home." Ronnie stuck her pierced tongue at me before she winked.

She's been having the habit of calling me 'kid' now. It was kind of annoying, but I didn't see why I should make such a big deal about it.

I forced a smile and followed the doctor. I still didn't feel ready to leave.

Ross had come last night and I feared that once I go back home, he'd leave me again. My heart hurt, reminding me that it was still empty. Doctor Janice opened the door to her office for me while we entered.

"You'll have to ignore the mess on my desk. I've been doing graphics this week and it always gets a little out of hand." She apologetically smiled and walked around her desk to sit down behind it.

"Please, have a seat." She said, indicating that there were two black leather chairs behind me. I sat down while doctor Janice took a few papers in her hands. She then slid a pair of glasses through the bridge of her nose.

"So apparently, Madison; you're the healthiest patient we've had here in a long time. You're compassionate and build friendships with the toughest people we've had here. Which only strengthens the diagnosis that you aren't mentally ill. Building a friendship with someone like Veronica Dawson isn't easy and Jessica is her only friend because she seems to be afraid of Veronica. The nurse's evaluations say that you're kind and understanding with everyone else. You react in a way someone who understands they are surrounded with mentally ill people does, and you're patient with them. That not only makes you a very lovely patient but also a very mentally stable person."

Doctor Janice left the papers on her desk and took her glasses off.

"The basic fact is; you don't belong here."

I nodded, knowing it'd make no sense to tell the doctor that I was a mental case and that I needed to stay. Doctor Janice looked down.

"I carefully studied the recommendations that were sent when you arrived here, to help you learn how to deal with the trauma you suffered. Normally I don't disagree with other doctor's observations, but this time you were really wrong diagnosed. Now, the question is; why, Madison, did you lose yourself so much that your mom had to seek for medical help?"

I swallowed the fear that started building up inside of me at the thought of being sent home today and that I wouldn't have Ross tonight. I needed a reason to stay tonight. I studied doctor Janice and wondered if being honest with her and telling the truth would keep me here. If I told her I could see dead people, would she change her mind? I started talking when an image of my mom tearing up when she brought me here came to my mind. She missed me and she worried about me. I hurt her, well, the illness she thought I had hurt her. If I admitted I could see souls, I'd be labelled as insane. I'd be diagnosed with a whole new problem and the concern would consume my mom.