death || rsl

14

Later that night, after having a shower, I let myself into my room to find Ross already sat on the corner chair playing his guitar.

He didn't look at me.

Disappointed that he didn't seem to want to end what we started earlier, I got into my bed. I wanted to ask him why he had left, but it didn't seem like he wanted to talk to me.

Did he see Leif kissing me goodnight? Was he mad about it? I didn't hear the familiar groan that normally meant that Ross had seen Leif kissing me. It kind of broke my heart. I didn't like the idea of hurting him.

"Ross." I whispered in the dark, but he didn't look at me.

His voice joined the music and I fought against the need of falling asleep. I observed him, silently begging for him to look at me. Did I hurt him?

"Close your eyes, Maddie, and stop worrying about me. The life I've punt myself in, is mine, to bare with it. You've got no reason for worrying about hurting me. You do exactly the opposite of what you fear."

I looked at him, without knowing what he meant by 'doing the opposite'.

"As to the kisses, you're right, I don't enjoy seeing them. If I choose to see them, it's my fault." He lifted his eyes up from his guitar and looked at me. "The emotion he causes in you isn't strong. There's just comfort, not passion, running through your thoughts when you're with him."

His attention went back to his guitar.

"Will you cuddle me tonight?" I asked. His beautiful eyes looked at me with so much emotion it left me breathless.

"There's nothing I want more, but tonight my strength is weak. I can't hold you in this moment. I want to do it so bad, though. Please Maddie, tonight, just sleep."

I watched him play his guitar until my eyelids were heavy. Ross was right. Leif was my refuge. My rock to normality. He was my friend. Ross was the one who consumed me.

+++

"It doesn't even look like our gym! How cool does this place look?" Miranda turned to look at us smiling, extremely happy about the gym decoration.

She was right. They had done an excellent job decorating the school's gym.

"It's amazing." I agreed with her, while Leif's arm brought me closer to him.

"Do you wanna dance?" He asked me, while a Lady Gaga slow song started playing through the speakers. I shook my head and looked at the tables.

"Can we sit down for a bit? I'm not sure if my ribs are ready for these kind of movements yet."

He guided me to the tables, while Miranda practically dragged Wyatt to the dance floor. I laughed at Wyatt's expression and I turned to speak to Leif, but his attention was centred on the front door. There was a weird expression plastered on his face.

Ross had just arrived. He looked heartbreakingly amazing with a white button up shirt and black skinny jeans. It took me a moment to take my eyes away from him and notice Kendra by his side.

It looked like her red dress was slowly eating her. Actually, it didn't even look like a dress, it was more like someone had painted her body with bright red paint.