death || rsl

23

I wanna thank you all for 11k reads, it means the world to me 💘
ALSO, here's a warning: shit's about to go down in this chapter 😏

I stood in front of the kitchen table, studying it. It was covered with empty soda cans, two pizza boxes —which were also empty—, and there was also the remaining half of the chocolate cake, in which you could read 'Welcome home, Maddie' in white. Leif, Miranda and Wyatt had surprised me this afternoon. I had opened my front door four hours ago to see them standing in my doorway with soda cans, pizza, and the chocolate cake. Being with them, eating junk food and telling them stories about the time I've spent in the nursing home, made me feel at home. Their smiling faces and the familiar laughter gave me a warm feeling.

Kendra had fallen off the top of a human pyramid during a cheerleading practise and had to wear a cast on her right leg. Miranda seemed to be quite pleased with her suffering. People from multiple colleges went to watch Leif play and now there's two colleges interested in him.

Leif had moved on from me. Knowing he'd be fine when I'm no longer a part of his life relieved the guilt I felt. I couldn't keep being his girlfriend. Not when I had feelings for Ross, even if I couldn't find him.

He'd have to come back, eventually. He'd know I needed him and he'd come back to me. Even if I couldn't see him, I knew he was near. I glanced at the stairs knowing he wouldn't come tonight. My bedroom was a safe place for me now. If only I could see him and tell him I love him and that I would go anywhere if it meant being by his side... but I'd never let him know that, or even understand it.

+++

The music played. It took me a moment to open my eyes and realise Ross was playing my lullaby. I sat on my bed and looked over at the chair beside my bed, only to find it empty. But the music kept playing. It took me a few minutes to get rid of my tiredness and realise that the music wasn't playing in my room, not even in the house. The music was coming from the window. I jumped and ran to see where it was coming from.

Was Ross outside? The backyard was dark. The music was coming to me from somewhere in the night. I took my jacket, put on a pair of shoes and headed downstairs to the back door, carefully closing it behind me so mom wouldn't wake up.

The music sounded like it was coming from the forest. I walked towards the yard to find a flashlight my mom always kept in the shed, just in case. Once I was there, I took the flashlight in my hands and headed back to the yard.

Why was Ross out here, in the dark, playing my lullaby? I followed the path my mom took whenever she fancied doing walks in the nature, starting from our backyard to end up in a small park, through the forest. The leaves creaked as I walked and I forced myself to hold back a scream. I needed to find Ross before I freaked out even more. The music took me further into the forest, and let's just say my flashlight wasn't very useful.

It was so dark I could barely see anything. I kept telling myself that Ross was out here, somewhere, he wanted me to find him. Why would he play his music for me to hear it, if it wasn't to take me away from here?

A bright light shone in the dark, showing itself through the fog. I walked towards it, knowing the music was coming from there. The closer I got to the light, the brighter it got.

A bright ball was floating in the centre of the circle of trees. I hid the flashlight in my pocket before taking a careful step closer to the light. Ross' music was coming from this.