death || rsl

25

Mom had sent Leif to school without me and explained that I'd come back later. Leif was definitely something to deal with. If I had to live this existence, I couldn't keep using him. I'd never love him the way he deserved. He was my friend and someone I could go for to find comfort. Letting myself be his girlfriend wasn't only a mistake for Leif, but I also betrayed him because I knew I'd never belong to anyone but Ross. I couldn't live this way. Living wouldn't be easy for me now. I had to cut all the threads that broke my already damaged soul.

I had missed British literature by the time I got to school. The hallways started to get full of students. I kept my books close to my chest while I walked through the hall. I can do this, I thought to myself. Miranda suddenly made her way towards me through the crowded hall.

"Maddie, yay! You came! I've missed you like crazy. Now lunch won't be so boring, and, oh my God! Guess what."

I made an effort to understand what she said since she did it way too fast. Then I realised that she was waiting for me to answer her 'guess what'.

"Oh, um, what?" I couldn't even force a smile.

She smiled at me and looked around us to check if anyone was listening before she looked at me again.

"Ross Lynch is here. Like, in our school. Can you believe it? I mean, I knew he used to go to a high school in Alabama until last year, when his band got a hit and they started touring around the US. Ah! Can you believe he's here? In our school! I guess if he had to go back to school our tiny little town would be ten times better than any school in Alabama. But still, I can't believe this."

I was shocked. Her words kept replaying on my mind. Ross was here? How? The rockstar she was talking about no longer existed. I felt panic mixed with confusion on my chest and I had to take a deep breath.

"Where?" I managed to ask, knowing I couldn't hide the desperate expression on my face.

Miranda smiled and nodded towards Leif.

"You better get rid of the astonishment because of the rockstar. Here comes your man."

I barely even looked at Leif and took Miranda's hand. "Tell me where he is. Please, now."

Her eyes widened at my petition. I bet she was thinking I've gone mad again.

"Uh, somewhere." She said, but it sounded more like a question. I could notice she was worried and then she looked at Leif.

"Did you know Maddie's a big Cold Soul fan?"

Leif glared at me, but I didn't have time to worry about him right now. I needed to find Ross.

"I have to go. I'll see you later." I explained while I started walking. I fought back the temptation of calling out his name.

"You'll go back to that nursing home if you don't calm down." Ross smooth voice said in my ear, and I looked behind my back.

He, of course, was whispering in my ear. Not anywhere near me.

"Where are you?" I whispered.

I heard laughter and I turned around again, only to see a couple kissing.