Life Within Crystalfort [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-One

"Morning, Laura."

"Morning," I stretched, rolled over. Clawd sat by the window in my room, looking at me.

"Your dad says the sun would be good for you right now. You know, after you put on your sunscreen or whatever. He doesn't know why, but he says he knows the sun helps you. Even if you're a vampire."

"Maybe he's right. I don't feel like it, today, though," I rolled over again, pulling the sheets over my head.

"No, Laura. Get up," Clawd pulled back my sheets. I pulled the pillow out from my head and placed it over my head, blocking out the light. Today was the first day in my life that I hadn't wanted to go outside.

"Stop it. Your dad wants you to go outside. You're going to do that. Come on," I groaned, standing up. I shuffled over to the bathroom, sticking my tongue out at Clawd before I shut the door. I took a quick shower and got dressed. Fifteen minutes later, I walked back into the room. Clawd sat on the edge of the bed, looking out the window. I walked over to him and sat down. I pulled on my knee-high socks. I grabbed my pink boots and pulled them on, too. I stood back up and went into the bathroom, again. I grabbed two of my ponytails and a hairbrush. I sat down at the little vanity-thing and brushed out my hair. I split my hair into two halves, right down the middle, brushing out the hair that was supposed to be my bangs to the front of my head. I pulled both sides into a tight ponytail, for I piggy tails by the time I was done. I searched all the drawers before finding a pair of scissors. I pulled my bangs down straight with my fingers and then cut off a couple inches, lining them up with the tops of my eyes.

"Are you ready, yet?" Clawd asked. I rolled my eyes slightly, nodding my head. He stood up and held out his hand. I ignored it, stood up on my own, walked towards the door. He placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me around to look at me.

"Could you at least acknowledge that I'm here? You don't have to ignore me. I'm trying to help you get better, Laura. You don't have to be such a jerk to me. You know, you girls always say that all men are jerks. But, for a change, that's you. You're the jerk," he dropped his hand to his side and walked past me.

For what it was worth, he was right. I had always wondered why all guys were jerks and yet, here I stood, being the rudest person that I possibly could. What was wrong with me?

***

Back in the house, out of the sun, I had even more time to think about the person I had been lately. I sat down on the edge of the bed, pulled off my boots, my socks and stood back up, walking towards the bathroom. I locked the door and got undressed. I climbed into the shower, washing off the thick sunscreen that I had been wearing for almost four hours. I hated it. Hated being a vampire. If only I was human, I could have the life I wanted. I wanted to be able to be a vegetarian and not have to worry about landing myself in a hospital bed. I wanted to be able to walk outside without sunscreen. I wanted to be able to talk to new people without hiding my fangs. When people saw my fangs, they ran. I had few normie friends because of it.

If I was human, I'd be dating Jackson, rather than Clawd. I'm not saying I didn't love Clawd, I did love Clawd. But, I never got a chance with Jackson. He was always baling on me. And, now that I think about it, all those times that he didn't show up for one of our dates, he was probably with Frankie. He wouldn't have known he was with her. Holt would have been with her.

I ran my fingers through my hair, letting the hot water run through it. If only I was human.... Why couldn't I be human? It'd be so much easier. I could actually take a hot shower without feeling intense pain. You don't realize how good a hot dower feels until you can't take one without feeling pain. I can't even take baths, anymore. And when I do, they have to be cold water, like, freezing cold water. Hot water burns my skin, horribly. Which, I understand, is exactly what this shower was doing to me, but, I was dealing with the pain. Hot water helped me think.

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around myself, the fabric rubbing against my skin made it burn more than the water had. It took about twenty minutes just to dry off. I couldn't really rub at anything because of the degree I had burned my skin to. Aloe Vera. Where was it, again? Dad had said it was in the medicine cabinet. I rubbed it into my skin. The only place I wasn't burnt was the palms of my hands.

"You ok, Laura?" Clawd asked, knocking softly on the door. I turned my head to the side in pain and shook my head, knowing that he couldn't see me. I wrapped the towel around myself again and opened the door. "Jesus. What happened?"

"Hot water. I wasn't even thinking about it until after I was burnt beyond repair," he shook his head.

"You want help with the aloe Vera?" I nodded. "Alright. Come here," I followed him back into the room. He sat on the bed, leaving room for me to sit in front of him. I placed my hands on the opposite shoulder, holding the towel in place. Clawd carefully rubbed the aloe Vera on my back and neck.

"How did this not hurt when you had the water on?" I shrugged, regretting the motion the minute I had did it.

"I wasn't thinking about the pain. I had other things on my mind. I normally take hot showers, really short showers. Hot water makes me think about things that I normally wouldn't. That's what I was doing. I guess I lost track of time."

"What were you thinking about?" I looked down at the floor. I couldn't tell Clawd about the life that my mind wanted me to live. Not since it hadn't included him. My fantasy life had included Jackson, not Clawd. I wasn't even sure why it had included Jackson. I didn't like Jackson, not that way. It was weird, what a person's mind can come up with.

"Something stupid. Maybe I'll tell you when I understand what it all meant."

"Sounds good to me," he stood up. "I'm going downstairs. Get dressed and then come down there, alright?" I nodded.

"Only for a couple of minutes. I'm tired," he kissed my forehead and walked out the door, shutting it behind him. I wasn't sure what, exactly, was wrong with my mind. I didn't care about its stupid little fantasy. I love Clawd, not Jackson. And that would always be true. I would always love Clawd, not Jackson.